Cece tries to convince Jess that Nick sees her as more than a roommate. While Schmidt tries to seal the deal with Cece.
- Zooey Deschanel as Jess Day
- Jake Johnson as Nick Miller
- Max Greenfield as Schmidt
- Lamorne Morris as Winston Bishop
- Hannah Simone as Cece Parekh
- Lauren Dair Owens as Young Jess
- Josiah Barajas as Eduardo
- Aixa as Mexican Vendor
- Edin Gali as Gavin
- Sean C. Graham as Happy Man
- Kassie Hight as Happy Woman
- Warren Sweeny as Unhappy Man
- Jeanette O'Connor as Unhappy Woman
At a thumping club, Jess makes her way through a crowd to Cece, who's yelling at the DJ. She accuses him of kissing another woman and strikes out by ripping his deep V t-shirt wide open. It was his favorite deep V. Outside, Jess says he "seemed like a really nice European DJ with a face tattoo." Cece asks to stay with Jess because Gavin's been crashing with her for three weeks.Jess thinks the guys might have big plans because it's Friday night. Cut to the guys, Nick playing video games, Winston eating pizza and Schmidt emerging from the shower in a super short lady kimono. They're all exhausted from a long week. "I just wanna come home, put on my 'mono and hang loose, man," Schmidt says. Schmidt says Winston would understand his 'mono if he had a job. Winston retaliates by taking off his pants and putting a napkin on his head.
Jess comes home, telling drunk Cece to be on her best behavior. She walks in to Winston swaddled in paper towels, fighting with Schmidt in his mini kimono. With Cece out of the room, Jess warns the guy that Cece is really vulnerable and grabby and has no boundaries with her body when she's drunk. They're all OK with this. Cut to Schmidt and Winston club dancing with Cece in the living room as Nick grumbles about it. "I don't dance, I'm from the town in 'Footloose'," he says. Jess gives up and goes to bed. Schmidt offers Cece his bed, saying he'll sleep on the couch. He comes out and celebrates his perceived victory, jumping around the living room and shouting "parkour!" He thinks he's in with Cece. Winston figures he has a shot because he only has to be cooler than Schmidt.
Jess makes eggs in the morning, causing Nick to tell him to stop trying to take care of him. Cece wakes up on Schmidt's bed to see him hanging from the bathroom door frame, claiming to be finishing 4,000 crunches. He blacks out for a second from hanging upside down. As Cece showers, Schmidt carefully rearranges toiletries as an excuse to be in the bathroom. Winston brushes his teeth in slow motion. Nick comes in to see what all the fuss is about and is transfixed when Cece pokes her head out of the shower. Jess comes for Cece and escorts her out, telling the guys she's disappointed in them, especially Nick. He insists he's better than this, sometimes. After Cece leaves in a tiny towel, Schimdt says: "Did you see that cleavage? I just want to get my arm stuck down there, '127 Hours' style."
Cece asks Jess if she's upset at her for dancing with Nick. She thinks Nick is into her. Jess denies it, saying that CeCe just thinks everyone wants to sleep with everyone. Nick pokes his head in to see if anyone needs anything from the drug store. Cece suggests Jess go. When he's gone, CeCe says his feet were pointing toward Jess, which is evidence he likes her. At the drug store, Jess notices the direction of men's feet in relation to their women. He asks if Cece needs to stay with them and concludes she should stop trying to take care of everyone. She looks down and notices his feet pointing right at her. She dances around him, watching the direction of his feet follow her. When he puts his hand on her shoulder, she thinks it means everything.
Back at the apartment, Schmidt and Winston watch Cece sunbathing on the roof. Winston accuses Schmidt of not being able to close. He gets on a fake phone call, telling a woman a "90 minute session" is pretty standard for him. Winston busts his play by actually calling him. Winston sits down. Cece says they're both bothering her. Jess freaks out on her car ride home with Nick, seeing affection in everything. He buys roses when a woman sticks them in the window and Jess fights them off. She gets out of the car and runs down the street. Schmidt works on his laptop, shirtless, casually mentioning for Cece's benefit that he makes a lot of money. He's sunburned, but says in a few days he'll be bronzed like Cece is, because of her "culture." She says her parents are both from India. Winston suggests Schmidt name all the things he loves about India. Among them: Deepak Chopra, anyone named Patel, "Slumdog Millionaire," monsoons, cobras in baskets, mango chutney. Winston finally puts him out of his misery by telling him to take a break. Cece one-ups him by telling Schmidt to go to the roof. He does. Then she commands Winston make her a sandwich.
Jess comes home. She walked. She wonders what she's doing to cause Nick to like her, considering that it could be her posture. Nick comes home, asking what happened and saying he was worried about her. Cece tries to move the situation along, interpreting for Jess that Nick is saying he cares about her. Jess tries to physically restrain Cece and somehow ends up on her back with her earring stuck in her hair. Jess says Cece can't understand her wanting to just be friends because she doesn't have guy friends, she just has jerks like Gavin and DJ Diabetic. Cece says she's just trying to help Jess make a move. Jess likes taking things slow. "I'm not like you, I don't just jump in the potato sack with the first potato that I meet with diabetes," Jess says. They hear a scream from upstairs. Schmidt has run into the cat that freaks him out (it was raised by birds). Jess finds Schmidt on the roof cowering from the cat behind a lawn chair fortress. Jess tells him Cece's not ready for him. He's a good guy.
"If you ignore all of the things you do on purpose and concentrate on all of the things you do on accident." Jess warns him Cece would eat him alive. Schmidt goes back to his room, where Cece is in his bed. He says he gets it's not going to happen, but he just wants to sleep in his own bed. She says OK and he lies down. She apologizes for being a jerk. He says he hates sleeping alone. So does she. She urges him not to talk, but holds his hand. Nick finds Jess brushing her teeth. She puts his toothpaste on. With a mouth full of toothpaste, she apologizes for acting weird. They both turn and face the sink, feet pointing away. Winston gets a call in the living room. It's Schmidt from his bedroom, reporting that he's holding Cece's hand. He considers that closing.
- "Uh, sure. I love, you know, uh, I love Slumdog. I love naan, uh, pepper, Ben Kingsley, the stories of Rudyard Kipling. I have respect for cows, of course. I love, uh, the Taj Mahal, Deepak Chopra, anyone named Patel. I love monsoons. I love--I love cobras and baskets, Naveen Andrews. I love mango chut-a-ney, uh, really, any type of chut-a-ney. Teepees..."
- "Did you see that cleavage? I just wanna get my arm stuck down there 127 Hours-style. And then, and then...just cut for days. I don't care. I'll cut through the bone, the nerve"
- —Schmidt being yuck
- This episode had different opening credits - still pictures of Zooey Deschanel rather than the live actionshot of all the actors as in the other episodes.
- Schmidt's sunburn changes places between scenes.
- sexy and I know it | LMFAO
- something in common | FREE ENERGY