|Cecelia "Cece" Parekh|
Unnamed father (deceased) Unnamed mother
Hannah Simone; (Young Cece) Ariela Barer, Jaidan Jiron
She is portrayed by Hannah Simone.
Cece is introduced in New Girl's opening scene. Wanting to wow Spencer, her boyfriend of six years, Jess is riding in the back of a cab with nothing on but a trenchcoat, and she's nervous. She calls Cece for encouragement, and Cece, much more experienced in matters of sex, supportively eggs Jess on. But when Jess discovers that Spencer has been cheating on her she swiftly moves out, devastated. She lives with Cece and her roommates - who are all models - for two weeks, but quickly tires of it. She finds a more permanent place to live when she responds to an online ad - for the L.A. loft with Nick, Schmidt, and Coach. It's Cece's job as a model, and her place in Jess' life, that helps an enthusiastic Schmidt make the executive decision that Jess should move into their apartment.
One week after Jess moves in, Cece meets the guys for the first time. She stares them down on the sofa, and Schmidt removes his shirt to show off his toned torso, prompting Nick and Coach to pass him the "Douchebag Jar" for a series of unabashed donations. His attraction to her is instant. Cece promises the guys she'll crazy-murder them if they let anything bad happen to Jess, who is preparing for a rebound date in her bedroom. Schmidt offers one sexist comment too many, and Cece gets up, exasperated, to check on Jess. She finds her lying on the floor of her room in red heels, trying to rock a pair of overalls for a "hot farmer's daughter" vibe. But Cece isn't about to let her leave the house looking like that, so she gives her the little black dress she has on already. Supportively, Cece promises Jess she can date again successfully, no matter how hurt she was by Spencer's betrayal. Incidentally, Cece actually does manage to rock the pair of overalls.
Cece arrives at the loft with Jess, who's been crying. At the guy's urging, she has attempted to get her stuff back from Spencer, but wound up being guilted into driving his new girlfriend, Rochelle - the girl she caught him in bed with - to the airport. Cece is angry that her best friend is so upset, letting the guys know that it's her job to tell Jess to call Spencer, not theirs. Nick suggests that Spencer is Jess' kryptonite, and tells her to get her stuff back and move on, because he's a jerk. Cece agrees with him, and watches intently as Nick forces Jess to punch a pillow that acts as Spencer's face. Jess gets up the nerve to go to Spencer's and get back her stuff, and Cece and the guys agree to go with her for support.
On the drive to Spencer's house, Cece is squished in the backseat with Schmidt and Winston, the group's new roommate. She is forced to listen to a compilation of screamo and heavy metal from Winston's pump-up mix, as Schmidt and Winston argue over who is the Top Dog. She asks Jess to unlock the car doors so she can roll out and kill herself, but is intrigued by Schmidt's snide reply - "Men working." Jess drives around the block several times before she finally pulls over in front of the house, to the strains of Vanessa Williams' "Save the Best for Last."
Cece and the guys wait supportively in the car while Jess storms into Spencer's house to get her things, but they all jump out in her defense when she emerges, loaded down with half her belongings. But she realizes that Spencer is wearing one of her homemade t-shirts (it says "Miss Day's Jam-boree") and she loses it, demanding that he give it back. Cece, who hates the guy, doesn't even acknowledge Spencer as she heads inside to get the rest of Jess' things, while a standoff breaks out on the lawn with the guys. She emerges with Jess' bike and throws Spencer back his bell. The group leaves victoriously, with all of Jess' things.
Jess visits Cece at a modelling shoot, and relays how she accidentally walked in on Nick, dancing naked in his room to Jamaican music, and laughed at the sight of his penis. Jess is mortified, and Cece reminds her that she's always been nervous about anything that has to do with sex, as far back as she can remember. Jess doesn't know what to do because Nick won't even look at her, so Cece suggests she can make it even. "You've seen his, now show him yours," she advises her.
As a result of her advice, Jess winds up fully naked in front of Nick, and the girl he was about to sleep with. It ruins his chances with the girl, but helps repair his friendship with Jess.
Jess finds Cece at a crowded nightclub, arguing with her European electro-DJ boyfriend, Gavin, who has a face tattoo, because she caught him kissing another girl. As he yells at Cece and Jess to leave his booth, Cece angrily rips open his favourite deep-V before Jess can pull her away.
Outside, Cece is drunkenly going on about what a good guy she thought Gavin was, and resigns to heading home even though she's still in a bit of a party mood. But because Gavin is staying at her apartment, even though they've only been dating for three weeks, she asks to crash with Jess and the guys at the loft for a few days.
Initially reluctant, Jess ultimately agrees, but before they go inside she asks Cece not to do "her usual thing" and to be on her best behaviour. Cece agrees, and they find Schmidt, in a mini kimono, and Winston, wrapped in toilet paper, in the living room. Cece stumbles drunkenly to the bathroom wondering where the tequila is, and after getting changed into pyjamas, Jess apologizes to the guys in advance, explaining that Cece gets vulnerable and uninhibited when she's drunk. On that note, the guys easily agree to let Cece crash for a few days.
Jess emerges from the bedroom with blankets and pillows to make up a bed for Cece on the couch, but she's annoyed to find her club dancing with Winston and Schmidt, who are practically fawning over her. Nick moans about not being alone on a Friday night from the couch, sucking back a beer and grimacing. Jess tries to get Cece to go to bed, but instead Cece tries to get Nick to join in their dance party, pulling him up and ripping open his shirt.
Nick tries to insist that it's time for Cece to call it a night as Jess, fed up, drops the blankets and pillows on the couch and goes to bed. Schmidt takes the opportunity to "sheep-dog" Cece to his bedroom, where she drops onto the bed cover and passes out for the night. Outside his bedroom, Schmidt is celebrating the fact that she's sleeping on his bed and not Winston's, and vows to the guys that he'll close with Cece, even though they both swear he can't do it. He takes the couch in her place and gives up his room.
The next morning, Cece wakes up in Schmidt's bed, and sees him hanging from anti-gravity boots in front of the doorway, pretending to have just finished 4,000 crunches. Hungover, she's grossed out to see his torso covered in baby oil. But she leaps to his defense when he passes out from blood rushing to his head, thinking something might be seriously wrong with him. When he comes to, she begs him to get out of the way so she can go get a glass of water. Instead, he tells her to swing his body out of the doorway. Desperate to leave the room, she obliges.
Later that morning, the guys are making excuses to be in the bathroom while Cece showers, and she asks them if they have any soap besides Schmidt's body gelato. Jess is surprised to find everyone in the bathroom when she comes to get Cece for breakfast. She is quickly dismayed when she realizes they've pranked Cece by hiding all the large towels, as she emerges from the shower barely covered. Jess expresses her disappointment in the guys before she heads out the door, but Schmidt unabashedly discusses Cece's body once they're gone.
Inside Jess' bedroom later that morning, Cece apologizes for flirting with Nick as she tells Jess that she thinks Nick is into her, but isn't surprised that she doesn't notice, because Jess has always assumed every guy just likes Cece instead. She reminds Jess of Eduardo, who could never convince her that he was into her in middle school, no matter how hard he tried. Jess doesn't think it's true that Nick would think about her in a sexual way, and doesn't want to talk about it because they're just friends, but Cece insists that it's obvious even in the way Nick says Jess' name. Nick walks in to announce he's going to the store, and Cece volunteers Jess to go with him. She further sets Jess' mind going by suggesting that Nick is exactly like her long-stated "perfect man" - Walter Matthau in Grumpy Old Men - and by pointing out that his feet always point towards Jess when he talks to her.
As a result of this advice, Jess is paranoid and acting awkward throughout her trip to the grocery store with Nick, where they discuss the challenges of living with Cece. On the way home, she freaks out, escaping out the passenger door, in traffic, when he attempts to buy her a rose from a woman on the highway. He thinks nothing of it, but all Jess can think about is what Cece said, and whether it's true. With Nick yelling after her, she runs toward home in the opposite direction.
While Cece sunbathes on the roof of the apartment, she acts oblivious to Schmidt and Winston eyeing her from the door of the stairwell. They are discussing Schmidt's inability to close with women, and Winston eggs him on, sending him shirtless onto the roof to talk to Cece. She's unfazed by his pretend phone conversation with a pretend woman, and he finds himself embarassed when Winston phones him and swoops in to bother Cece. She makes it quickly clear that both of them are bothering her, and goes back to lying in the sun.
With his chest sunburned because he didn't remove the baby oil before going out on the roof, Schmidt is trying to impress Cece by working from his laptop, on a Saturday, while she thumbs through a magazine. He insults her Indian heritage, and struggles to get back on his feet with her as he lists the things he loves about India, including Dev Patel and "chut-eney." Cece tells Schmidt to head to the roof, where she says she'll join him in ten minutes, and once Winston marvels at her manipulation skills, he falls for it, too, as she orders that he make her a sandwich.
Jess arrives home from the grocery store, and announces to Cece that Nick's feet were pointed directly at her the whole time. But she orders Cece not to speak to Nick, as it would be "the most life-ruining thing" she could possibly do to her. Nick finally gets home and immediately chastises Jess for jumping out of the car, announcing that he drove around for ages looking for her, because he cares about her. Jess apologizes and Nick heads to his room, and Cece is encouraged - she tries to talk to him. But Jess forcibly holds her back, grabbing at her face - Cece's job - and getting her earring stuck in Cece's hair. When they've pulled apart, Cece insists that she's just trying to help Jess be happy, but Jess is adamant that she doesn't want any help with Nick. They argue about Cece's taste in guys and how fast she moves, as Jess shares that she's happier moving slow. They agree to disagree and are interrupted by a scream from the roof - it's Schmidt, who's been cornered by a feral cat in the time since Cece forgot that she sent him up there all alone.
On the roof, Jess tells Schmidt, who's feeling bad about himself, that Cece's not ready for him because he's actually a good guy underneath his many layers. "She'd eat you up," Jess tells him, but Schmidt gets excited at the prospect of her literally eating him up, and Jess gets grossed out.
That night, Schmidt stands up to Cece by asking if she'll let him sleep in his bed for the night, because the couch is getting uncomfortable and his sunburn is starting to blister. Feeling guilty for the prank she pulled on him, she agrees, and he gets under the covers. They bond over the fact that neither likes sleeping alone. She apologizes for what she did, and as they both drift off to sleep she gently grabs his hand - announcing that she has two people in her phone that will kill him if he tells anyone about it.
Naturally, the first thing he does is call Winston, who is sitting in the living room, to announce that Cece and him are in the same bed. Excitedly, he tells him it feels an awful lot like closing.
Jess sets out to hold her first Thanksgiving dinner, inviting Paul, the musical theatre teacher from school that she has a crush on, before telling the guys. She comes home with a huge frozen turkey, named "Hank," but they aren't into the idea until Jess promises to invite Cece, which convinces Schmidt to help her cook the huge meal.
The next day, Cece arrives at the loft to find Jess lying on the floor trying to defrost the turkey with her body heat. Jess invites her to join her on the floor to hug the turkey, and the guys watch, eating potato chips and egging her on. They would love to see the two women on the floor hugging each other and the bird. She thinks it's a terrible idea, and the group ultimately decides to use the dryer to defrost the bird.
When Paul arrives, it obvious right away that he's as quirky as Jess, and Cece takes the time to get to know him over some wine. Later, she's in the kitchen helping Schmidt prepare dinner, and he nearly throws up because she's not as OCD clean as he is. Cece asks if he would eat one of the filthy walnuts she'd been holding in her hands, but though he tries he's unable to do it. He grabs the walnut at the last second and washes it under the tap. "Beautiful savage," he mutters to Cece, who grins. But, as a result of her game, Schmidt throws out all the walnuts and announces that he needs new ones.
Schmidt is still thrilled to have Cece in his kitchen, and is trying to teach her the best way to mash potatoes. Seductively, she smothers a handful of mashed potatoes on Schmidt's nose, and he proceeds to yell at her - causing Jess to intervene just before the dryer explodes - the turkey's burnt and the apartment fills with smoke.
Thinking that Thanksgiving's been ruined, the group prepares to disperse, when Paul insists he wants to eat the food that Schmidt's been slaving over all day. Jess suggests that they all head next door, to the suite belonging to Mrs. Beverly, because she's out of town and gave Jess a spare key to water the plants. Cece helps carry over pots of food, and listens with the others through the door while Jess argues with Nick over his rude treatment of Paul. Cece, with Schmidt and Winston, gives Paul the thumbs up when they all overhear Jess tell Nick that she can't wait to have sex with him in all kinds of interesting ways.
With dinner nearly almost ready, Jess asks Cece how bad it was when Paul overheard her talking about him, and Cece surmises positively that a normal guy would have left by now, but Paul's still there hanging out with her. Essentially, he's not normal, but he's good. Cece tells Jess that she thinks she's into Schmidt because he yelled at her. Jess is instantly grossed out before she goes over to talk to Paul, whose been tuning his violin in preparation for a performance that Nick is especially not interested in watching. Cece goes back to preparing food, and seductively admonishes Schmidt for yelling at her. He starts to apologize, but she stuffs her unwashed hand in the pudding, and once again nearly causes Schmidt to hurl. He begs her to clean up her hand while she licks her pudding-soaked fingers.
Paul prepares to toast their meal with his violin, but before anyone can sit down to eat, Paul spots a dead body in the bathroom - which is for him especially traumatizing, as this is his first Thanksgiving without his recently-deceased grandmother. The body belongs to Mrs. Beverly, and they all run to the doorway to take a curious look. That's it for Thanksgiving, as they have to call 911.
Cece goes with Jess and the guys to Best Buy, where they're waiting in a long line for Black Friday sales to kick off at midnight. Schmidt offers Cece his cardigan while Nick and Jess continue to argue about Paul, because Jess thinks Nick's attitude will turn Paul off her. But he soon shows up playing his violin, with turkey subs for her friends.
Cece is shopping with Jess while she searches for sexy new lingerie to impress Paul. But sexy lingerie isn't her style. Cece tries hard to be supportive, but is too transparent, while Jess picks out a black string bikini with a star across the stomach - the only piece of fabric that covers anything. It's just not Jess, and Cece knows it.
Schmidt visits Cece, who is feeling unglamorous on the set of a shoot for a Bolivian diet pill called Elgatrex, to give her a Christmas gift. She's sitting with the Before Girl, a model who looks just like Cece, but he's dismayed to find she's also there with her new model boyfriend, Kyle, who makes out with Cece right in front of Schmidt's face. Schmidt asks Cece to be proud of him for the fact he's not staring at her body while they speak, despite the fact she's dressed in nothing but a black bikini. The gift is a homemade perfume called Cecelia No.5 - concocted with scents that remind him of her - base notes of cocoa because of her "brown-ness," sea salt because it sounds like Cece, and sandalwood - "always up to no good," he explains. Moderately disturbed, Cece thanks him for the gift before she has to return to work, and awkwardly says she'll see him that night for his office Christmas party while Kyle looks on.
Cece brings Kyle to the Christmas party, and when Jess and the guys show up she's wearing Jess' Christmas gift - a costume moustache. Once Jess has seen her wearing it, Kyle urges her to take it off, which bothers Cece because he can't appreciate innocent fun.
Later, when Kyle's being a jerk, she finds Jess hiding from Paul inside the washroom, because he said the L word and she can't say it back. Cece recalls when Christmas used to be fun, and all she had to worry about was her drunk uncle asking her out. Jess contemplates trying to make things work with Paul because he's such a good guy, but Cece urges her not to rush into a serious relationship before she's ready. Finally, Jess gets up the courage to return to the party and talk to Paul, as Cece muses that she has to leave soon to follow Kyle to another party. When Jess remarks that Kyle is "the living worst" and asks if he even bought her a present, Cece realizes that he didn't and pulls out the bottle of Cecelia No.5. Spritzing a small amount on her wrist, she chokes from the unexpectedly horrific smell of the perfume.
After arguing with Kyle, once again, over Jess' prop moustache present, Cece visits Schmidt, who's playing Sexy Santa for his boss, Kim. He's completing an annual office party tradition that he hates because it makes him feel objectified. Cece encourages him to tell his boss how he feels, warning that if he doesn't she'll just continue to see him as nothing but a pretty face and a hot body. Schmidt wants her to repeat that he has a pretty face and a hot body, but she tells him not to push his luck as she walks away. He catches a whiff of her terrible smelling perfume, and though he's thrilled that she wore it, he remarks that it smells like a dirty dishtowel.
As a result of Cece's advice, Schmidt confronts Kim and is let off the hook as Sexy Santa. Kim remarks that she'll have to play Sexy Santa next year, and she's somewhat turned on by his assertiveness.
Having ditched Kyle for the night, Cece rides with Jess and the guys as they try to get Nick to the airport in time to catch his flight home to Chicago for Christmas. But Nick's interference at the party caused the immediate end of her relationship with Paul, so she's feeling bad and he turns the car around. He drives to Candycane Lane - a series of nice suburban homes extravangantly decorated for the holidays. But by the time they get there it's after 2 a.m., and all the displays have turned off for the night. Refusing to disappoint Jess once again, Nick starts yelling at the homeowners to turn on their lights, because they all came to see the display and the owners spent money to show off for people. Cece and the others quickly join in, successfully getting the neighbors to turn on their lights. They cheer the gorgeous displays and wish one another Happy Holidays, before they're instructed by a disgruntled homeowner to leave the street before the cops are called. They oblige, easily, but Nick has still missed his flight home for yet another Christmas season.
Cece is at Jess' apartment with their lesbian gynecologist friend, Sadie, discussing Nick's new girlfriend, Julia. Jess doesn't understand why Julia doesn't like her. Sadie admits that the first time she met Jess, she was taken aback by her bright pink ribbon hat. Jess runs to her room to get the hat, and plops the knit toque on Cece's head. Nick walks in and Cece tells him that she thinks Julia is a bitch, and says she's going to slap the lawyer learning right out of her. He doesn't understand what the problem is, because Jess admits that Julia never explicitly admitted she disliked her, but Cece insists that the tone and choice of words in Julia's statements is proof enough. Nick says that he likes Julia because she doesn't play any games, but Jess disagrees and points out, surprisingly, that she asked her if Nick was sleeping with other people. When Sadie remarks that Julia's girl games are classic moves even in the lesbian community, Cece is practically bowled over when Schmidt rushes out of his bedroom at the mere mention of the phrase. As Schmidt attempts to engage her in discussions about lesbians, Cece visibly rolls her eyes.
Cece and Sadie are over at Jess', and the three of them are knitting as Schmidt emerges from the shower wearing nothing but a washcloth because he's left his towel in his room with his dehumidifier. He urges the women not to look, but he's disappointed when he realizes they're not trying to. He continues to his room and slips on the hardwood floors, dropping the washcloth and showing off his natural blonde hair down below. As the girls make fun of his penis, he throws on a nearby apron and snaps, revealing that he thought moving in with a woman would lead to him having sex all the time, and definitely with her friends. Cece, whose hands are stuck inside balls of yarn, rolls her eyes as Schmidt vows to never give up trying to sleep with her. He says he's living a nightmare as he finds one of Jess' tampons in the apron pocket.
Jess and Julia's relationship has deteriorated even further, because Nick tries to talk to her about what Jess told him. The confrontation ends in the three of them crying at his bar, and was followed by Jess calling her a bitch at a hearing for a traffic ticket. Julia thought her 'braking for birds' defense was stupid, and they had it out in the hallway of the courthouse. Julia has arrived to apologize to her, and she invites her to join the girls for Crochet Night.
Julia tells the girls all about her difficult upbringing and tough teenage years, and they can all relate to the troubles of girl friendships. "Girls can be so mean," Cece remarks.
Cece drops by in a bright red dress to pick up Jess' seasickness bracelets - she's going to a party on Greg Kinnear's boat, and Schmidt remarks at how beautiful she looks. He asks her for advice on his boss, Kim, who he thinks is senfing him mixed signals about sex. She puts on one of the seasickness bracelets early, and she tells him to just go get it. "There's nothing less sexy than a guy asking if he can kiss you." He proceeds to list several far less sexy things, and she puts on a second bracelet.
Laughing hysterically, Nick and Winston emerge from Schmidt's former bedroom. He had a strange sex mural painted on the wall of the closet during his time there, and their ornery and sex-starved landlord, Remy, has ordered them to cover it up in exchange for letting it slide that they added a fourth bedroom to the loft without telling him. Schmidt has left Winston, who took back the big room when he moved back in, to deal with the mess. While cleaning out the closet, Winston finds Schmidt's New Years Resolutions from 2001, and Cece excitedly listens as they read off his embarassing list.
Jess emerges from the bathroom with Remy, soaking wet. She was helping him fix their bathroom sink, and got totally sprayed with water. As she listens to her tell it, Cece looks somewhat disturbed by her story. When Jess announces that she invited Remy over for dinner to thank him for fixing their things, Cece admits she's got a boat to get to as the others make excuses not to join them. But when Nick notices that Remy looks excited to get Jess alone, he changes his mind and decides to stay. He and Jess almost proceed to have a threesome with Remy, and almost get caught by Winston.
As a result of Cece's advice, Schmidt attempts to seduce his boss, Kim, in the parking garage after work. But security cameras catch them making out against the door of her car, and guards mistake it for assault. He and Kim decide to tone down the sexual frustration, but he stills winds up stripping down and thrusting over a video conference call to Tokyo.
Jess is packing an overnight bag in case she has a one-night stand for Valentine's Day. She hasn't been single on Valentine's Day in six years, but she's asked Schmidt to be her wingman on a night out, and wants to try something new. Cece is listening to her, but points out that Jess doesn't do one-night stands. She decides not to leave Jess, who's spraying perfume over all of her bodyparts, alone for the night, and texts Kyle to meet them at the bar.
Cece is sitting with Schmidt at the bar, watching as Jess chats up a guy. Schmidt asks where "what's his name" is, but Cece says she and Kyle are meeting up later, and tells him to pay attention to Jess. They call her back when she meets a guy who she finds an emotional connection with. They're both from Oregon and Jess is excited, but Schmidt and Cece both agree that an emotional connection isn't good for a one-night stand. Jess is sad to say goodbye to him, but she moves on to the next guy and tries to follow their advice. She winds up choking on a cherry while trying to chat him up, as Cece and Schmidt look on disappointed.
Later that night, Jess introduces Cece and Schmidt to Oliver, a gorgeous blond with whom she has nothing in common. Excitedly, she runs off, knowing she's found the perfect candidate for a one-night stand. Schmidt notices a beautiful woman he'd like to chat up, so Cece offers to make her jealous by crawling all over him, but he pushes her off. She's way too beautiful, he explains, which would make the other girl think she'd never have a chance with a guy like him. They're slowly getting closer when Kyle shows up, jumping on them and ruining their moment. He's completely wired, and announces he has magic mushrooms as Cece moans - now she'll have to spend the night taking care of him. She excuses them both and makes Schmidt promise to watch Jess.
At Oliver's house in a strange neighborhood, Schmidt is taking Cece's advice too literally. He refuses to leave Jess alone, and the three of them watch Planet of the Apes. But Jess begs him to go so she and Oliver can start getting closer, texting Cece to report that Schmidt is still there. Cece immediately phones Schmidt and tells him to leave. She's in a park with Kyle, who's riding the tire swing and shouting racist phrases as he trips out on mushrooms. Cece offers to come get Schmidt, which is lucky because when he finally goes outside and leaves Jess alone, he discovers that the tires of his black Ford Flex have been stolen.
Cece finally shows up at Oliver's after his ex-girlfriend walks in on he and Jess making out. She can't find Schmidt, who's been hiding outside for the past hour, but climbs in through the window as Kyle storms into the house. Kyle's peed himself and Cece is morbidly embarassed, as Jess urges everyone to leave. Trying to make him jealous, Oliver's ex-girlfriend grabs Kyle and starts making out with him, which irks Cece. She drags Kyle off her and attacks, leaving Schmidt to have to throw her over his shoulder and walk her out the door. Jess' one-night stand is effectively over.
Back at the loft for the night, Cece is getting ready to have sex with Schmidt, trying to stay quiet while Nick and Jess argue outside. They can't tell what's going on, but before they proceed she makes him promise not to tell anyone what's about to happen.
The next morning, Jess drinks a cup of tea and calls Cece. She makes her promise never to speak of it again before revealing that she almost tried to hook up with Schmidt for Valentine's Day. Cece hardly knows what to say; she's taking the call as quietly as she can from Schmidt's bedroom.
Cece and Schmidt have morning sex in his bedroom. She wishes there was a word that meant complete satisfaction and complete self-loathing as she swears to Schmidt that this was the last time. But he laughs her off, surmising that he's her black-tar heroin and she won't be able to resist coming back for more. In his mini kimono, Schmidt helps Cece escape out the front door before Jess walks into the kitchen. She doesn't see who it is, but can't believe Schmidt's actually slept with one girl twice in a row. Schmidt can't say a word as his roommates discuss the kind of women he typically brings home.
Schmidt takes a picture of his genitals and sends the picture to Cece, who calls him immediately from her car, parked in front of her loft. She asks him to come down, and he drops everything to go join her. He tries to invite her upstairs, but they argue over where they could do it without getting caught.
They sneak inside his bedroom with everyone at home in their rooms, and Cece starts to leave in the middle of the night. Schmidt's usual douchebaggery manages to turn her on somehow, but she still tries to leave - but Jess is in the living room trying to find out how to remove an offensive video of her from the Internet. She turns back around and agrees to spend the night with Schmidt.
The next night, Cece parks outside a nightclub and tells Schmidt to wait for her while she heads inside alone. He's offended, and she admits that she's "100 per cent" ashamed to be with him. He agrees to wait in the car for her as long as she promises to go for breakfast with him the next morning.
He takes her to a Chinese diner outside Los Angeles to avoid being seen together. She admits that every guy she dates just likes to show her off, but he insists that his feelings are stronger than that. She smiles, and gives him permission to tell the old Asian men inside the restaurant that they're sleeping together.
Cece joins Jess and the guys at Nick's bar, where they are trying to process his recent possible cancer diagnosis and are subsequently fawning over him. Cece refuses to treat him any differently on account of his health crisis, which he appreciates sincerely.
Cece is trying to be strong as they stay late at the bar with Nick to help him close up. Schmidt uses Nick's health crisis to find comfort in Cece's body, and she's not impressed. Gathered around the piano at the end of the night, Winston plays and sings 'the saddest song in the world,' while Schmidt and Cece, the only one who's sober, both rap. Jess ruins the moment by taking Nick's advice and getting real, pointing out that he never does anything and isn't even trying. Cece, Winston, and Schmidt watch as Nick explains his fears about being someone who takes risks and does crazy and spontaneous things.
Once they leave the bar, Cece and the gang head to the beach, and watch as Nick strips down and runs into the ocean. But it's freezing cold and he immediately regrets his moment of total freedom, taking out his frustrations and fears on Jess as the others look on.
He goes off to be alone, and the others make themselves comfortable down the beach. Schmidt and Cece talk about their relationship, and she reveals that her dad died when she was 12. Likening this to how he's dealing with Nick's current health crisis, she says, "The only way to get through it, is to get through it."
The next morning, Cece wakes up after sleeping on the beach next to Schmidt. They're late, and they all head together to Nick's ultrasound at a nearby clinic. After she gets up, Schmidt is heartened by the perfect mould of Cece's butt she's left imprinted in the sand.
She waits for Nick with the others at the clinic. They're all relieved when Nick emerges and says the tests revealed he didn't have cancer. As he goes to pay, he discovers that the others, including Cece, have all pitched in to pay for his treatment. They're forced to walk home when Winston's beloved car - a recruitment present from before he started college - breaks down for the last time.
Cece drops off Schmidt blocks from the loft, still refusing to be seen with him by anyone they know. Schmidt is getting frustrated by his lack of control in their relationship, and tells her as much while he remarks on the bad neighborhood she's leaving him in. She tries to calm him down by reminding him that they're just trying to be a little spontaneous, but he gets out of the car, upset, and she frowns.
As a result of the lack of control Schmidt feels in multiple aspects of his life, he goes off the grid in Venice Beach for days. He starts playing bongos and eating street meat wrapped in street meat, and he lets the loft fall into disrepair until Jess, Nick and Winston beg him to come home.
In the middle of the night after Schmidt comes back home, Cece sneaks into his bedroom in the middle of the night. She's dropped in to have sex, and Schmidt grins. He realizes she can't get enough of him the more she sneaks around with him, which makes him realize he's the one in control, after all, even if they keep everything a secret.
Jess is trying to dislike her student's father, Russell, and complaining to Cece about how nice he is in the loft bathroom. Cece suggests that Russell might actually like her, and tells her not to let him intimidate her because he's successful and charming. She winds up embarrassing herself in front of him but takes Cece's advice and agrees to go out with him.
Cece drops by the loft while the gang discusses Nick's weird college friend, Dirk, who's visiting following a recent divorce. Dirk hits on Cece, but she announces that she's seeing someone. She tells Dirk that she's "definitely" she boss in her relationship, and Schmidt looks on from the kitchen dissatisfied.
In his room working later that morning, Cece finds ten minutes while waiting for Jess to get ready, and she tells Schmidt to eat a granola bar before they do it. But Schmidt refuses to bend to her every whim anymore. She takes off her shirt, and he's starting to bend as he stares at her breasts - which he's named Harold and Kumar, but they're interrupted when Jess returns from the laundry room, and wants to talk to Cece about her disappointing date with Russell. Cece asks if she did her Kermit the Frog imitation, which freaks her out, and Jess says she did "once or twice." She advises Jess to stop thinking of Russell as a boy, like her roommates and the guys she's dated, and instead go for what she wants from him.
Taking Schmidt's words to heart, Cece throws on a secretary's outfit that's much too large, and tries to seduce him by letting him be the boss. She admits that she'll do whatever he wants - anything, anywhere.
Schmidt takes her to the backseat of his car, but Winston feels the need to make amends with his girlfriend, Shelby, for accidentally suggesting they needed space. She's in Cabo for a bachelorette party, and he takes off towards Mexico in the middle of the night, without realizing that Cece and Schmidt are trapped in the backseat. He sings show tunes on the trip down, thinking he's alone, while Schmidt and Cece discuss whether or not he should pee himself as opposed to letting Winston know they're in the backseat. Cece admits that she likes sleeping with Schmidt, and he smiles, thinking the night turned out pretty great despite their current situation.
Shelby phones Winston from his loft, where Dirk and Nick are having a party with college girls, and Jess is freaking out that she's going to die alone after a second bad date with Russell. Crossing back into the United States, the border patrol officer discovers Schmidt and Cece in the backseat, and their relationship status both shocks and awes an unsuspecting Winston.
On their way back home, Schmidt begs him to keep their relationship secret from anyone else. He's still shocked that they're together, and suggests that it could mean the whole world's turned upside down as he drives through a stop sign.
Jess shows up at Cece's apartment, ready for a training run. She's entered them into a charity six-mile run, but Cece has forgotten their plans and makes an excuse not to go, roping the models into her ruse. She finally manages to push Jess out of the apartment, and Schmidt emerges from under the sofa cushions, having narrowly avoided being caught with her. Once Jess is gone, Cece chastises her racist Russian roommate, Nadia, for laughing at Schmidt.
At the loft, Winston is completely unable to keep the significant news of Cece and Schmidt to himself, and forces Nick to hear it even though he begs to be kept in the dark. Jess returns from her run, and announces that she's annoyed at Cece for bailing on her yet again this week. Now that Nick knows, he's too transparent, and Jess can tell right away that he's keeping something from her. Hardly pushed, he reveals that Cece and Schmidt are sleeping together, and Jess is shocked. She can't believe that she was the last to know. Schmidt walks in on the announcement, and celebrates the fact that he's with someone as beautiful as Cece, but Jess is not impressed.
Cece soon comes over to explain things with Schmidt. The gang is gathered in the dining room, and Cece insists that she wasn't conspiring to keep it from Jess, just that it started happening, and then just kept happening, for two months. In every room of the loft at one point or another. Jess is still mad that Cece kept it from her, and walks off.
The next day, Cece joins Jess for a training run, but Jess is listening to Diane Keaton's autobiography on her iPod, and runs off. Cece chases her down, begging for forgiveness over keeping one secret from her. When Jess returns home, she tells the guys she wants more honesty among her friendships, and it gets out of hand. She learns that sometimes, secrets are a good thing.
The next morning, Jess surprises Cece in the kitchen, ordering her not to drink her almond milk. She's wearing a full snowsuit and ski mask following the revelation that all of her roommates have thought about her while masturbating. Cece tells Jess that she's sorry and doesn't want to fight, but she admits that she stopped telling Jess all her secrets when Jess started getting critical and judgmental of her. Like she's being now, over Schmidt. He joins the women in the kitchen, and their argument is interrupted by a surprise confrontation between the two young college girls Nick has been sleeping with. Jess takes the opportunity in the heat of the moment to continue her argument with Cece - who then reveals that she spent New Year's in St. Bart's with a guy who might be an arms dealer, and says she went to see My Girl with Jessica P. in the seventh grade, and never told her about it. Jess is visibly offended by this, and Winston breaks up the fighting my pulling out his Theodore K. Mullins. They all look on, impressed, as he heads to the kitchen for cereal.
At the charity run, Jess and Cece are getting ready to start but aren't talking to each other. Cece takes off, leaving Jess in her dust. Schmidt, Nick, and Winston man a water and orange station along thee route, and Schmidt is wearing a pink See Cece Run t-shirt. She doesn't stop at the checkpoint, focused on beating Jess, but when Jess finally pulls up beside the guys she's huffing mightily. Jess notices that Cece let him wear the homemade t-shirt, and she takes off after Cece on the road.
She finally catches up with her, though she can barely breathe. She knows why Cece didn't tell her about Schmidt because she didn't want to admit that she actually liked Schmidt, and Cece realizes she's right. She begs her not to tell anyone, and Jess is thrilled to have a secret with Cece that only she gets to know. They take off toward the finish line, but Jess is a wreck by the time they cross, well after dark and after the race ended. There's only the guys and one volunteer there to greet them, and Cece helps take Jess home.
Back at the loft, Jess realizes how adorable Schmidt and Cece are together as she watches them cook dinner together, and she gives them a chance to be alone before hobbling off on her sore feet. He tells her that he knows what they're doing is just sex, before he realizes she's cutting the vegetables wrong and freaks out.
Winston can't figure out what Cece sees in Schmidt, and is interrogating her over coffee the next morning. Unable, or unwilling, to give him an answer, she finally gets up and walks away.
Jess returns to the loft after spending a week at Russell's mansion. She's still not used to seeing Cece and Schmidt together, and they're surprised to see each other when Cece emerges from Schmidt's room in nothing but a blanket.
In Schmidt's bedroom, Jess and Cece get caught up, and Cece points out that she's been living Russell's life, his rules, and suggests he repay the favour. She invites him to stay at the loft the next weekend, and it doesn't go that well. Cece distracts Schmidt during a game of True American by talking him into bed, giving Russell and Jess the victory as it becomes clearer that the two of them lack any passion.
The next morning, Jess is complaining to Cece about Russell in Schmidt's bedroom, and Schmidt tries to pretend he's not interested in the girl talk. Cece makes him listen to it anyway.
Cece thinks she might be pregnant, and is terrified of the possibility as she frets over her late cycle with Jess inside her bedroom. They discuss the possibility of a Baby Schmidt and are both disturbed by it as Schmidt walks in to prove why they should be. But, they resign themselves to getting through the weekend without saying anything to Schmidt, until they can confirm once and for all if Cece's pregnant.
Schmidt thinks Cece's been acting weird, and he asks Winston if he thinks that Cece's getting bored with him. But Winston doesn't want to talk about his sex life, and is relieved that he gets called to work with his demanding new boss.
Schmidt is trying to get through to Cece, so he decides to go over to her apartment and ask her out on their first real date - to Italy on Ice. But she snaps at him, saying she can't go because it's a really bad time. She urges him to take another girl, and he fights to hide his hurt feelings. He calls Nick, but pretends he's a girl named Nicole as he tries to make Cece jealous. "You're an idiot!" Cece snaps, before storming out the door.
She arrives at Jess' loft, in tears, while Jess tries to console Russell's daughter, Sarah, because she'd developed a puppy crush on Nick only to find out he had a girlfriend. As Cece pours her heart out over Schmidt, she struggles to focus on both girls tearful whining. Cece shouts at Sarah to be quiet, gets reprimanded by Jess, and sudddenly thinks she'll be a terrible mother, just like her own. She changes her tune, urging Sarah not to have tantric sex because she'll end up pregnant - which Schmidt overhears. He's thrilled about the possibility of an Indian-Jewish baby with perfect bone structure, and oddly calm about the whole thing. "Maybe this is the universe telling me that I'm never gonna find a girl better than Cece," he says with a grin.
He makes Cece and mocktail, and finds her crying as she stares out the window. He tells her that he'll support her no matter what, but fears the possibility of impregnating the baby when theey have sex again. Over dinner, he considers countless Jewish names to give their baby, and tells Cece he can't wait for how big her boobs are going to get. Dinner takes a turn for the worst when it's revealed that Nick's new girlfriend is only 18, and Jess once subbed for her high school English class. Nick is mortified while the gang laughs nervously at his expense.
As the tension worsens inside the apartment, Jess yells at Nick and Schmidt for "making and/or dating" babies while Sarah cries inside the bathroom.
Cece runs into the loft when Russell's ex-wife returns to pick up Sarah, ecstatic over getting her period and not being pregnant. She hugs Schmidt, who doesn't look that thrilled, and kisses Ouli. He tries to hide his disappointment as Cece remarks that they can let things go back to normal, but he quickly urges her inside her car to beat traffic. He breathes a heavy sigh of relief when he realizes she hasn't seen the plane he'd hired to write "Marry Me" in the sky.
He doesn't end up taking another woman to Italy on Ice - instead he takes Nick, who strangely enjoys it.
Nick has gathered everyone on the roof of the loft - Jess and Russell, Schmidt and Cece, and Winston and Shelby - to announce that he's decided to make some changes in his life, including replacing women with growing tomatoes. The others are barely impressed, but Jess encourages them to keep listening and is supportive of him finally making a decision to do something.
He points out how successful his friend's relationships are, reminding Schmidt and Cece that theey almost made a baby together, and he says he wants the same thing with his tomato plants as he accidently squashes one of them with a water can.
Schmidt visits Cece's apartment to talk about how they've barely spoken since the pregnancy scare, and Cece admits that she thinks their relationship is getting too intense and wants to stop. Cece's Russian roommate, Nadia, overhears their abrupt break-up and asks to take out Schmidt, which he thinks is a great idea. Trying to pretend it's no big deal, Cece agrees to let him go.
Jess reports to Cece on her awkward dinner date with Russell and Ouli, who exhibit intense passion even though they're now divorced, and Schmidt walks in on them nervously. Cece tells him that Nadia is excited for their date, and he rubs it in before heading out the door. Jess can't believe she'd let Nadia go out with Schmidt, and urges her to be honest with Schmidt about how she feels about him. She insists that she's fine with the fact that their relationship is over, but Jess doesn't believe her.
Schmidt's date with Nadia is a disaster. They can hardly communicate over dinner, and when Cece sees Nadia at home the next morning, she reports that she left him at the hospital with a serious injury before she left to go bowling with some friends. Cece can't believe her thoughtless rommate, and rushes to the hospital to find Schmidt.
She finds him and apologizes profusely, discovering that his injury is a broken penis from having out of control sex with Nadia until there was a moment of blinding pain. Cece doesn't want to hear it and almost leaves, before professing her feelings and admitting she doesn't want him sleeping with anyone, but she doesn't always know how to say what she feels. She likes Schmidt, even his personality. They are about to kiss, but Schmidt is too turned on by her. He begs her to leave and find an overweight male doctor to help him.
Cece is listening to Joni Mitchell on repeat with Jess, while she questions her decision to end things with Russell. Cece assures her she did the right thing for herself, and orders her to turn off the music, finally, after listening to it all night long. Nick and Caroline barge in, having made up a dance routine to the song, but it only make Jess feel even worse because she hates that Nick is back with his ex-girlfriend, who broke his heart. Cece knows this, and takes the lead as they leave Nick and Caroline dancing alone in the room.
Cece shows up at the bar dressed in sweats and a knit hat (notes Jess, dressed like "a women's studies major"), and Schmidt leaves Jess and Winston at the bar to accuse Nick of "backsliding" into Caroline.
No matter how hard he tries, Schmidt can't stop thinking about sex, which causes him agony as he tries to heal his penis in a cast. Trying to help, Cece is attempting to dress as un-sexy as possible, but it isn't working. Nothing is working, and he's fighting erections all over the place - including while he and Cece watch birds outside his bedroom window, as we see in a quick flashback. Back at the bar, she announces that she has to visit her Dadi - in Hindi, it's the name for her father's mother. Schmidt loves "bubbies," he says, using the Jewish name, but says that old people freak him out. So naturally, Cece thinks it's the perfect place for them to spend time together, since he won't get turned on.
The next day, they head to the nursing home where Cece's grandmother lives. When Cece leaves her alone with Schmidt, Dadi warns Schmidt that if he hurts Cece, she'll let herself die just so she can haunt him. He enjoys spending time with Dadi and Cece so much, that he joins her to visit the next day. They play cards with an old, happy couple, and Dadi tells Schmidt that he is exactly what Cece needs.
Cece overhears Dadi's conversation with Schmidt, and when Cece and Schmidt are alone again, she admits that, for the first time in her life, she wants a relationship that lasts - and says she wants it with Schmidt. He tells her that he feels the same way, and he collapses against the chair in agony as his penis throbs inside his cast. Emotional intimacy is turning him on to the point he is in excruciating pain, and she realizes that he cares about her so much that he passes out from the pain.
Schmidt visits Cece at a modelling shoot, and she's disheartened to find out he's now in a hard cast because his penis hasn't healed properly. No matter how sexy she tries to be, there's no chance of him getting aroused while this new hard cast is on. Cece gets called to the set - a sexy scene on the back of a missile, and Schmidt immediately gets jealous of the provocative posing she does with her Adonis-like modeling partner, Gino.
After work, Cece heads over to the loft and finds their new roommate, Neil, moving in a box that growled in the elevator. She tells Jess that Schmidt freaked out at her modeling gig, just as he phones to report that Nick freaked out over his decision to move in with Caroline, drove to the desert, and threw his keys off a large hill.
The guys are going crazy by the time Jess and Cece show up, and Cece gives Schmidt a bottle of water before bringing up his jealous reaction to her work. He nervously calls her a sex worker, and she walks off.
Jess refuses to drive Nick back to Caroline's, and they have to wait all night for a tow truck, so they wind up making themselves comfortable for a night of camping in the desert. They listen to Nick's old mix tapes, and Schmidt notices a flirtatious text on Cece's phone from Gino. He's jealous all over again.
Cece, Jess, and Nick are dancing to the Crash Test Dummies, and Nick calls out the gang for thinking he makes stupid choices before walking off to find his keys. Jess finds Schmidt sitting alone and stress-eating meat, and he admits that he doesn't think Cece will ever care about him the way he cares about her. Jess thinks that's crazy, and Schmidt announces that he's going to have to "White Fang" her - he'll have to force the animal to leave until it's free of him, to be happy. He says he has to do what's best for her, even if it sucks for him.
He confronts Cece after Jess goes into the night to look for Nick, and tells her that things aren't working out. She can tell that he's White Fanging her, and she's pissed. "Why are you trying to push me away?" she asks him, getting upset that he went through her phone and doesn't trust her. Schmidt says he doesn't trust her because she slept with him, which he says doesn't say much about her taste in men. She walks off, angry.
The next morning, the gang is dirty and tired, and Cece and Schmidt aren't talking. Jess pretends to have finally located her keys, and the group is relieved to finally be able to go home. They drop Nick off at his new place with Caroline, and Jess' goodbye is the hardest before they drive home.
Cece comes to pick up Jess at her school after she was laid off due to budget cuts. She's sitting there, alone, with her belongings, and Cece agrees to take Jess home but not go upstairs because of the whole Schmidt thing.
Schmidt plans a re-launch event after his penis cast comes off, and he feels inclined to invite Cece. He wants to tell her that he still likes her, but she arrives with her new boyfriend, Robby. Schmidt is instantly jealous. He starts a fire dance to impress Cece, and almost sets Robby on fire, which infuriates her instead.
They argue after having not spoken for two months, and Cece says they never would have worked because they're far too alike. She tells him that he's going to be fine, reveals that she's with Robby because he's just a good guy, and leaves.
Jess is sending sexy texts with Andy, the delivery guy from the bar, and Cece is getting frustrated because Jess can't send sexy texts for the life of her. She tries to help her be flirty and mysterious, but Jess is neither.
Schmidt goes to a party where he knows he'll find Cece, and Cece laughs out loud when she finds out that Schmidt's been telling beautiful women he's Mitt Romney's son. Winston is playing his wingman, and acts as hardened security dragging Cece away as she rolls her eyes.
After being discovered for his ruse, he texts Cece to explain that he's going through a Taylor Swift-like range of emotions, and she comes over to talk to him. He explains that his dad left when he was eight and had three kids with his new wife, while his mom disconnected from him and started dating women. Cece tells him to forgive his dad and call him, and she lets him rest his head on her chest for comfort.
It's Cece's birthday, and Jess shows up on her doorstep with a homemade cake. But Cece refuses to eat it, because she has to be careful what she eats before the car show she has booked for the next day. Jess can't believe she won't eat cake, and is disappointed to discover that their usual plans for Cece's birthday - hanging in for a girls' night - have been replaced by a party that Cece and the models want to go to. Jess hates clubbing, and Cece reminds her of the time she ruined her birthday, which Jess still insists was her fault for punching her in the chest. Finally, she agrees to go out because she cares about Cece.
Before she goes out, Jess tells the guys that she hates having to hang out with the models to be able to hang out with Cece. She says she should be able to deal with the fact that she think she looks like a monkey from a Russian cracker ad. And once she finally gets let into the bar and finds Cece, Nadia starts singing the cracker ad theme song to an already aggravated Jess.
With Cece off talking to a guy, Jess is forced to entertain the models by herself, and she quickly grows tired of dancing like a monkey and hanging out with racist brats. She insults the models' - and Cece's - intelligence, and Cece overhears. She storms off, and Jess immediately realizes she's said too much. They yell at each other in the lobby of the nightclub, and wind up punching each other repeatedly in the chest. Cece tells her to leave before their fight gets out of hand, and when she heads back into the club she downs a bottle of vodka to forget about the fight.
Later, Jess is talking to Nick about her fight with Cece, she admits that she was always disappointed in Cece for calling the modeling scout back in high school. Both she and Nick are confronting the reality that if they had met Schmidt or Cece later in life, they probably wouldn't be friends with them.
The next morning, Jess arrives at Cece's apartment to apologize, and finds her puking and hungover after her disastrous birthday night out. She has a job booked that she can't miss, and she forces Jess to take her to the hangar. She's desperate not to lose the job, so Jess steps in for her. Cece fights the persistent urge to be sick.
Cece watches, mortified, as Jess is overdone with hair and make-up, but can't find her feet in the five-inch stilettos on the spinning platform. She winds up locking herself into the car being showcased, until she finally finds the way out and crashes to the floor, bungling her one line. She's forced to recognize that Cece's job isn't as easy as she thought. "You've always been braver than me," Jess says. They make amends, and head back to the loft for birthday cake and movies with the guys. Jess asks Cece if she thinks they'd still be friends if they met today, and Cece shrugs. "I don't know," she says. "But we're friends now."
Cece is shocked to find out that Sam, the guy Jess has recently started seeing, is a pediatric doctor. She knows that Jess is starting to like him. She's brought Robby over to the loft because Jess is making his Ninja Turtles costume, and Schmidt walks in. He's still jealous of Robby, and invites he and Cece to his Halloween party. Cece tries to find an excuse why they can't go, but Robby says he's happy to have more places to wear out his costume and says they should go.
At the Halloween party, Cece and Robby are riding the merry-go-round when Schmidt barges in, getting on the back of Cece's horse. Her white dress and his top hat and tails - he's Abe Lincoln - makes them kind of look like a bride and groom, as Robby jovially points out. He's oblivious to Schmidt's constant insults. She's forced to fight off other guests who think she's come with Schmidt, and she loses it. She tells Schmidt he has to go home and change before Robby steps in to calm the situation down. He tells Schmidt he's not going anywhere, and manages to block three attempts by Schmidt to head butt him. But, when he realizes that he has to be friends with Robby if he's going to be friends with Cece too, Schmidt calls a truce and gets ice cream cones with Robby and Cece.
As the carnival winds down, Cece and Robby are playing a game when Schmidt arrives, giving most of his costume to Robby so that he and Cece can be the bride and groom. He reveals his back-up costume, a sexy stripper - underneath.
Schmidt has crashed another one of Cece and Robby's dates, but he's come to tell them about the sexual advances of his new boss, Emma. Cece's uncomfortable with the conversation, and Robby tells Schmidt that he should be trying to find a nice girl - like he has in Cece. Both she and Schmidt balk visibly at the suggestion that she's a nice girl, but Robby doesn't waver.
Later, she show's up at Schmidt's to complain that if Robby thinks she's a nice girl, he doesn't really know her - not like Schmidt does. She flirts with him, and Schmidt kisses her. But she thinks about Robby's feelings and pulls away, though he promises that he'll never stop trying to kiss her. She is a nice girl, and they both know it.
It's Thanksgiving, and Cece is over at the loft while Jess prepares to host. Her parents are visiting from Portland, but Jess has tricked them into spending time together despite the fact they can't get along. Cece can tell right away that Jess has set yet another Parent Trap in a bid to reunite her parents, who've been divorced since she was a child, but Jess tries to play innocent. But after turning on the Cat Stevens, Jess can no longer deny it.
She's determined now to complete the trap, and she pulls in Nick to help her so Cece joins Schmidt, his cousin, also Schmidt, and Winston on the roof. They're getting progressively drunker, and Winston suggests a competition to determine "the one true Schmidt" that Cece is all too happy to support.
Later, she joins Jess to give her mother, Joan, a makeover, trying to say that they're just practicing for Cece's "plan B" - beauty school. In the living room, Nick and Jess' dad, Bob, are discovering just how alike they really are.
Joan takes the opportunity inside Jess' room to question Cece about something she's been digging for answers to for over a decade. "Just tell me the truth," she says with a smile. "Did you drive my van?" Cece frowns, promising that it wasn't her who scratched her van, even though Joan swears that she knows that she did.
After some disastrous dinner prep, Cece, Nick, and Jess catch Bob and Joan making out in the washroom, and Jess thinks her parent trap has finally been successful.
The battle for the title of "One True Schmidt" has gotten progressively more competitive, and the gang looks on while they fight over perfect dinner plating. Finally, Cece suggests that the only way to be the "One True Schmidt" is to be secure enough in you masculinity to kiss another guy. She suggests Winston. Before dinner begins, Schmidt gives Winston an after-dinner mint as Jess gives a toast. But Cece's initial instincts, that Jess' parents weren't going to get back together, were right, and Bob and Joan insist it was just a hook up. Joan again insists that Cece scratched her van, and Jess says she didn't mean to, so Cece's forced to reveal that the only reason she was driving Joan's van was because Jess accidentally ate a pot brownie. The dinner table begins to devolve into an argument until Jess shuts it down, insisting all she wants is a family with her parents back together. She tosses the turkey in the sink and sulks off into her bedroom.
After dinner, Schmidt and Schmidt both try to kiss Winston, but after Schmidt fails his cousin is successful. Winston is mortified and Schmidt is happy to relinquish the crown of "One True Schmidt."
As Bob and Joan are saying their goodbyes, Cece tells Joan she's glad ot have the truth out in the open after all these years as Joan pulls her in for a hug. When they're close, Joan promises to kill Cece if she ever gives Jess drugs again. Pulling away, she smiles, and Cece is terrified.
Cece is over at the loft, eating dinner with Jess, Nick, and Sadie and her wife, Melissa. They're celebrating Sadie and Melissa's five-year anniversary. Sadie is trying to reveal to the group that they're expecting a baby, but they're completely distracted by Schmidt, who's loudly trying to satisfy his boss, Emma, in his room. As they're all forced to listen in on his sex games, Cece admits that she knows what happens next, and warns the others to cover their ears.
Sadie remarks that she feels lucky to be pregnant considering her age, which causes Jess, who's 30, to freak out that her eggs might disappear before she's ready to have a kid someday. Cece, on the other hand, is nowhere near ready to start thinking about having kids, and assumes she doesn't eeven want them. Sadie, who is an OB-GYN, tells the girls about a test that can count their eggs, and Jess doesn't waste a second signing them both up for it. "Babies wreck you," Cece states.
When the results come back, Jess is terrified, but her eggs are just fine. Cece, on the other hand, has a much smaller window of opportunity to be able to start a family. She's mad at Jess, because suddenly something she wasn't supposed to worry about is all she can think about. She's suddenly totally stressed out about the course of her future, but Jess suggests that they spend the day being guys and not caring about anything, just talking about sharks and making everything wireless.
Schmidt is unable to satisfy Emma, and he discusses how easy it was to satisfy his last girlfriend, Cece. Emma points out that what he's describing is love, but he's not so sure. Regardless, she declares their sex contract void and sets him free.
They go to the zoo, where they find Winston and an obliterated Nick. Cece knows she'll probably have to break up with Robby, and she's feeling sad. He joins them at the zoo, and as kids race by them she asks if he wants kids. He says he does - in about ten years. Cece knows that's too long.
Schmidt is talking to himself in the bathroom mirror, pretending he's talking to Cece about how much he misses her when Nick walks in. He finally realizes, and admits to Nick, that he's in love with her. Cece joins the gang at Nick's bar, and makes Schmidt's night when she announces that she and Robby have broken up. But Cece says that she has to get serious about her future or her mother would set her up with a long line of available Indian men. Schmidt mocks arranged marriages, but Cece shuts him down, telling him that's how her parents met, adding that they had a loving a successful marriage.
Schmidt goes to Cece's apartment to give her a present, but she says it's not a good time. She opens the box and reveals a pigeon - because he can't find a dove - and tells Cece that he's been in love with her for a long time. The pigeon takes off into Cece's apartment. He tells Cece that he'll have kids with her if that's what she wants, but Cece says her family will hate him because he's Jewish, among the many other things they have going against them. But he asks her to go to dinner with him anyway, and she agrees.
But he's forced to stay late at work with his boss to work on an advertising account for a new vodka, so he shows up at Cece's apartment really late and really drunk. He passes out on her lap on the couch, even though he swear he's ready to be with her, and when he's asleep she calls her mom and leaves a voicemail. She's finally ready to be set up.
When Schmidt gets back to the loft the next morning, he's devastated by Cece's decision. He finds Jess and Winston in the midst of their ruse to hide the fact they ruined his suits, but he doesn't even care.
Jess pulls Schmidt aside when they get to their first of several Christmas parties, for the night. She's invited Cece, and Schmidt hasn't said a word to her since she got in the car. Jess is pissed at him, but he's pissed at Cece, and Cece asks to talk to him later as she makes herself scarce inside Sadie and Melissa's condo.
Schmidt is having a terrible time at the party, and grimaces as Cece approaches. But Jess spots Dr. Sam, who she hasn't seen since they parted ways on Halloween, and she uses Schmidt and Cece as a shield. Schmidt and Cece argue over why Dr. Sam would be at the party, ignoring Jess, who's freaking out and suddenly wants to leave more than anything. They gather Nick and Angie, then find Winston talking to Dr. Sam about the cranberry he has stuck in his ear. They yell at Winston to come with them, because they're "Irish good-bying," and they make their way to a party at one of Schmidt's friends' all-glass mansions. But Winston gave Dr. Sam the address in exchange for a check-up over his ear, and he beats them to the party. He tells Jess that he's changed his mind and wants a relationship with her, and she tries to convince him that she and Winston are lovers.
Later, the gang catches Nick and Angie having sex in the lifesize white Santa's sleigh decorating the lawn. She finds Schmidt alone and gives him his Christmas present - he doesn't even open the gift, offering it to a beautiful blonde who passes them on the dance floor. Hurt, Cece walks off.
At the third holiday celebration of the night - Winston's radio office party - Cece finds Schmidt alone in the corner and tells him what his present was - a tungsten-carbide bracelet because he said it was the most "baller" metal. She says she just wanted to get him something to say thank you for saying "I love you," but Schmidt is still upset with her pushes her away.
Driving home at the end of the night, Jess is indecisive about whether or not to go back to the hospital to find Sam, and is swerving lines in traffic. They get pulled over by a black cop with a long black beard who believes her story and lets her go without a ticket. Wishing the gang a happy holiday, they're convinced they met Black Santa. Jess decides she believes in Santa - and in Sam - and goes after him. It's after visiting hours, so Angie helps the gang break in, where they pose as carolers, but they're terrible. Still, they get Sam's attention and makes the kids happy, and Jess and Sam get back together. Cece shoots Schmidt a coy grin, and as they get ready to leave the hospital he reveals that he's been wearing the bracelet she gave him all night. He promises he'd never give away a present from her, and Winston points out that Nick and Angie have disappeared. They're doing it somewhere inside the children's hospital.
Cece drops by to bring some things for Jess to take to the cabin with Dr. Sam, and Schmidt pulls her and Nick aside for a frank converrsation about race. He suggests making their apartment a more racially open atmosphere where Winston can let his "black flag fly," and both Nick and Cece beg him not to do whatever it is he's planning on doing.
Schmidt does it anyway, and winds up trying to buy crack with Winston in a bad part of town while Nick and Jess are at the cabin.
Schmidt and Cece are waiting a while for drinks at Nick's bar, because Nick isn't working, and she gets a text from Pevan Shetty, the billionaire's son Cece's mother is trying to set her up with. Schmidt instantly jealous, and she walks off.
Schmidt follows Cece to her lunch date the next day, and he spots Robby lurking at a nearby table, doing the same thing. They bond over the shared pain of losing Cece, and she catches them there. Frustrated, she attempts to ignore them, and her two exes vow to sabotage Cece's dates to prevent her from getting into an arranged marriage. After a few drinks at the bar, they barge into Cece's apartment, only to discover she's hosting a traditional reception for Pevan's large, extended family. Per custom, Cece and Pevan cannot go on a real date until their families have met, and they're not impressed by the intrusion of Robby and Schmidt. Cece, dressed up in a traditional sari, is on the verge of throwing them both out, with the help of her tough-looking male relatives, but they leave on their own.
Over beers, Schmidt and Robby commiserate over losing Cece at the loft later that night, remarking that the one good thing that came out of their plan to wreck Cece's date with Pevan was their new bromance.
Cece's crashing at the loft while the plumbing is repaired at the apartment she shares with the models, and as the gang moves around the small kitchen, she collides with Winston and walks straight into his morning wood. They're both mortified, as the others look on in great joy, because Cece's not the first person to come into contact with Winston's "pogo."
Winston is apologizing to Schmidt for the incident with Cece, but Schmidt isn't offended because, he reveals, the gang is used to Winston doing it all the time. In retaliation, Winston refuses to tell Schmidt what his "pogo" is - the thing his friend's talk about when he leaves the room. Thinking it's his eyebrows, Schmidt shaves half of them off, but when Cece walks into the bathroom she reveals that Schmidt's "pogo" is his barnacle toenails.
Cece feels left out when she realizes that she doesn't have a "pogo" - not the way she says pan, when she acts like a smart ass, or when she talks like a little baby. Jess tells her it's kind of a loft thing, only to find out that the guys think she's a know-it-all, and it's revealed that Nick's "pogo" is that his friends sneak money into his pants pockets before he does laundry.
Cece's going on a date with a new Indian guy, so Jess tries to invite herself out with the guys. But they're planning on picking up women and subsequently tell Jess to stay home. Nick calls her a "cooler."
She stays home alone and the guys manage to chat up a couple girls at the bar. But Jess hears a noise in the hallway and desperately calls the guys home. She also tries to get a hold of Cece, who's at the movies with her latest set-up, Shivrang, and doesn't have her phone on. When the film ends and she gets Jess' flood of text messages, she convinces Shivrang to come back to the loft to prove her friend needs help and she's not just trying to ditch him. But when they show up at the loft they find a mini-house party underway, with Jess and Nick locked in a bedroom until they kiss, and Schmidt making out with Holly, one of the girls from the bar, on the couch.
Because Schmidt told Holly that his ex was still in love with him in order to seduce her, she tells Cece she needs to move on from Schmidt as Shivrang looks on, uncomfortable. Schmidt begs Cece to tell him, in front of Holly, that she's still in love with him, and she obliges. "I'm only going to say this one more time. I always have, and always will, love you," she says flatly, but the look on her face gives away that she really means it. Exasperated, Shivrang calls it the most elaborate way anyone's ever tried to get out of dating him, but she leaves with him, and Schmidt sleeps with Holly.
Jess shows up on Cece's doorstep, reeling, and she announces that Nick kissed her the night before. Cece is just as surprised as Jess by this latest development.
Jess is wracked with guilt and wants to tell Sam, and spends over an hour talking Cece's ear off about the kiss. Jess admits that she felt like Scarlett O'Hara and saw through space and time when he kissed her, but is trying to pretend like that's not important - after all, it's Nick. Cece is jealous as Jess describes it - she's been off sex for a month going on date after date set up by her mother. Cece asks Jess if she likes Nick, and she immediately goes on the defensive, insisting she likes Sam, because he fixes things she doesn't even know are broken, while Nick, she says, just breaks things.
Unwilling to deal with either of the men in her life, Jess asks to hang with Cece for the day. But Cece's been booked to attend an Indian marriage convention in search of a husband, and Jess, intrigued, agrees to tag along. Unbeknownst to either of them, Schmidt is aware that Cece is going to the convention, and he's planning to crash it. Looking for something to do to keep his mind off Jess, Nick agrees to go with him.
As Cece is filling out the welcome forms at the convention, Schmidt, Winston, and Nick arrive through the hotel doors, and she is mortified to see Schmidt in a full gold Hindu wedding ensemble, demanding his right to participate. The dating service has a rule that no one is allowed to watch, and must participate in the convention if they're going to stay, so they're all handed forms to fill out.
Cece pulls Schmidt aside at the convention and they discuss their relationship. Cece says she's looking for someone to share her life with, who doesn't end every time they have sex by announcing, "Blam-o! That happened."
Cece discovers that she's been seated at Table 34 - a pathetic-looking collection of attendees without college degrees or full-time employment (including Nick) - who match her own dating profile. The table is the last one, nestled at the back of the room, and she's dismayed.
As the gang participates in physical chemistry exercises, Schmidt enjoys watching Cece move a hula hoop across her body. As the day wears on, she tries to get to know other men, but can't avoid Schmidt's overarching presence. He ignores other women in a speed dating line, listening in on Cece's conversations with other men and defending her when one says he never sets his sights below Table 6. She's floored, but she begs Schmidt to leave her alone as Nick is the next one to sit across from her. "Funny seeing you here," he grins wearily, but they're both growing increasingly frustrated by the kind of day it's been.
Cece realizes, after being told off by the guy with the ego, that the reason she and Nick are stuck at Table 34 is that they don't think things through. She doesn't often think things through before she does them, and she points out that he didn't think things through before he kissed Jess. She notes that their impulsive decisions just keep hurting other people, as nearby Jess confesses to kissing Nick, and Sam breaks up with her.
Both feeling bad, and unsuccessful in their goals, by the end of the day, Cece watches solemnly as Schmidt throws back a drink and steps up to the microphone. He calls the men in the room idiots for failing to notice a beautiful creature like Cece. As he steps down from the mic and walks away, she smiles to herself as she is crowded with a handful of men.
Late that night, Cece sneaks into the loft. She's elated for what Schmidt said at the convention, because she left with plenty phone numbers, but she's about to sleep again with him, unbeknownst to anyone. She's so excited about it, she even let's him wear a turban. As far as she's concerned, it's a one-time thing and she still has every intention of marrying an Indian guy.
Despite their interesting first date, Shivrang has agreed to another date with Cece. They're in her apartment living room talking when they're interrupted by Winston. He's at the door, desperate for a condom, and has come to her as she lives near his new girlfriend, Daisy. Cece is mortified. She tells Winston they aren't close enough for him to barge in looking for a condom, but he's so desperate that he asks Shivrang for the condom in his wallet if he's got one. But Shivrang says he doesn't have a condom because he swears he's not there to have sex - he and Cece are on a simple date, and he feels lucky just to be with her, he says.
Winston pushes him for the truth, and Shivrang eventually admits he really does have a condom in his wallet. Livid, Cece pushes Winston out the door, without a condom.
Cece and Jess are discussing Schmidt's strange plans to hold a TinFinity party, celebrating his ten years as Nick's friend and roommate, and Jess mentions that Nick and Schmidt - with Nick watching - are the last two guys she's kissed. "What is happening in this loft?!" Cece cracks.
Nick enters the kitchen so Jess lowers her voice, talking to Cece about her growing crush on him. Cece tells Jess that she needs a new guy, just like she says dating Shivrang has helped her get past "all the weird stuff with Schmidt." Jess would rather find a guy who is the anti-Schmidt, and ends up pursuing a pro-footballer named Jax McTavish, who Winston is trying to befriend to land an interview for his sports radio station.
Cece is getting ready for a date with Shivrang in her apartment - he's on the phone with his mother explaining that they're on their way to Nick and Schmidt's TinFinity party, and has to assure his mother than the two men aren't gay despite the celebration of their cohabitation. Once he hangs up, he shrugs as he tells Cece the "good news" - that they're mothers have given their relationship their blessing. Unsure what he's getting at, Shivrang (almost) fills in the blanks for Cece: "Now that the mums approve - when do you want to do this thing?" he asks her. She admits she's taken aback by the quick, unromantic marriage proposal, admitting that she always thought that when it was happening, she would at least know that it was. She agrees to marry him, provided he stops calling it, "doing this thing."
They show up at Schmidt's TinFinity party in the park as he is belittling the hired DJ, and Cece reintroduces Shivrang to her ex. Schmidt jealously announces that they're serving beef, wanting Shivrang to be offended on account of his religion, but he stalks off when he realizes Shivrang is unperturbed.
Later, Shivrang takes to the microphone, unannounced, and gathers everyone's attention. The DJ, thinking this is the cue Schmidt asked him to wait for earlier, throws up a spotlight and starts playing "Save Me" by Queen. He willfully ignores Schmidt as he tries to get him to shut it all down - instead, he's forced to watch as Shivrang gives Cece a proper "big proposal thing." He tells her that he's excited to spend his life with her and gets down on one knee in front of her friends. Cece accepts, and Schmidt's heart rips in two as his tribute to Nick, including confetti, instead fetes Cece's betrothal to another man. An enormous cake is rolled out in the shape of an infinity sign, and a well-meaning guest leans over to announce to Schmidt, is shaped that way "because they're going to be together forever."
Cece wistfully watches as Schmidt walks off, but before she can think too long about it, she's swarmed by excited guests who clamor to look at her ring.
While Jess is forced to fight off the surprisingly emotional footballer, Cece finds her and they gush over her engagement ring. Cece insists that she's happy and that this is what she wanted, and she asks if Jess is still thinking about Nick. Though Jess swears that she's not, by the overt protestations on her face, she clearly is.
Nick finds Schmidt and asks if he's feeling alright, taking him to a hot air balloon he bought for the party, even though he didn't have enough money to buy any fuel. Sitting alone, Nick tells Schmidt that he's sorry about Cece, and Schmidt tries to shrug it off, but he does confess that he always thought he'd be the one to bone Cece for the rest of her life. "I think we all did, buddy," Nick admits.
Schmidt is downing melon balls at Nick's bar, trying to drink to forget about Cece's engagement, when Nick presents his roommates with a bill. He almost never charges them for what they drink, but he admits that he's trying to be more responsible and has even come up with a promotional night to impress his new boss. Jess listens intensely.
Standing in the loft bathroom with Cece, she wholeheartedly admits that Nick's new found sense of responsibility has made her totally want him, and she's not denying it anymore. Cece's not surprised - she's not the first woman to be attracted to power and success - and they're interrupted by Nick. he's come into the bathroom to collect dirty laundry, which is practically a first, and Cece watches intently as Jess practically melts down trying to hide her attraction from him.
With froyos in hand, Winston takes Schmidt to the aquarium in an attempt to get his mind off Cece, but he's attracted to a California lionfish that reminds him of her as he says it swims "like an angel." He demands that an aquarium attendant sell him the fish, which he won't do because the fish is endangered, and Schmidt lashes out because he's not able to have all the things that he wants. Winston is forced to drag him out before he causes a scene. Undeterred, Schmidt purchases a large home aquarium with the sole aim of owning an elusive lionfish. Nick, Winston, and Jess are not at all blind to the fact that the fish is a living metaphor for Cece, but they know they can't stop him. Winston tries to buy him a regular goldfish, but Schmidt swiftly refuses it.
Schmidt and Winston even takes to the beach in an attempt to catch a lionfish, but Schmidt is instead stung on his face by a jellyfish and has to be hospitalized. Hearing about Schmidt's quest in a rambling voicemail he left her from the ambulence, Cece has made a phone call to one of the various sketchy contacts in her phone, and shows up at the hospital with the fish. Schmidt is sleeping when she arrives, and Winston is with him. He tells Cece that the news of her engagement has been killing him, and says she should probably go before he wakes up. Almost hurt by the request, she understands, and she puts her coat back on and leaves just before Schmidt wakes up again.
He wakes with a newfound realization about his metaphorical search for the lionfish, and upon seeing the fish on his bedside table, announces to Winston that he must release the fish (aka Cece) back into the sea and set it free.
Cece is visiting Jess at the school where she teaches creative writing to adults, and Jess discusses her latest slow sexual advancements with Nick - including him touching her chest as though he was giving the Pledge of Allegiance. Jess is convinced that things will always be weird with Nick, and there's no way around it.
Taking it upon herself to talk to Nick about the status of their relationship, he and Jess wind up on their first, supremely strange date.
Cece's wedding invitations arrive at the loft - everyone's invited, but even Jess is surprised to find out it's in only three weeks, and Schmidt is livid that she didn't offer him, as her ex, a plus one to the ceremony.
Jess, who isn't technically Cece's maid of honor, is hosting her surprise bachelorette party at the loft. She intends for it to be as debaucherous as Cece has always wanted, so she tells Nick and Winston, who are playing video games, to get out of the loft. She also asks them to keep Shivrang occupied - whom they barely know - while the party is on.
Cece is nervously chatting with Shivrang's grandmother and aunt, who've come from India to help plan the wedding. Shivrang can tell that she's stressed out, so he tries to comfort her by reminding her it will all be over soon, and he makes popping noises with his mouth to indicate that they'll be able to have sex. Cece is mildly disturbed by his sound effects, and she realizes that she won't be having sex with her husband until after they're married.
They're interrupted by a knock at the door, and Schmidt barges in, past Shivrang, to confront Cece about his lack of a plus one. He's rude to Shivrang's family so Cece drags him into her bedroom to tell him off. She further tells him that the wedding is being done on a budget, and there are no plus ones for people who aren't already couples. Taking on a new challenge, he vows to be dating someone - seriously - by the time she gets married in three weeks. If he can do it, she says wearily, he'll get a plus one.
Jess has invited the models, and a heavily pregnant Sadie, to Cece's bachelorette party, and Jess is telling Sadie to back off trying to flirt with the models when Cece shows up. Unbeknownst to Jess, Shivrang's aunt is with her.
Ankita G is barely impressed when she walks into the loft and the girls are chanting at Cece to "pin the dong on the Shivrang." Cece is mortally embarrassed by her suddenly unwanted surprise. As Ankita goes to the bathroom, Jess and Sadie urge her to pin the dong, and Cece blurts out that she has yet to see Shivrang's penis.
Instead of party games, Cece pours her heart out to her girlfriends, who attempt to assure her that Shivrang's penis is probably completely fine. Cece tells the girls to keep her bachelorette party G-rated on account of Ankita, even though she's always wanted a wild night out, and she begs them not to say a word of her fears to Ankita with wedding plans full steam ahead, because she wouldn't understand.
Nick and Winston have taken Shivrang to the bar, and they're awkwardly trying to find things in common when Nick's phone rings. He's all too happy to excuse himself to answer it, while Winston creeps out Shivrang to his right. Jess reports that he and Winston need to figure out a way to get a picture of Shivrang's penis for Cece, and he's mortified. But she tells them that they can end their awkward night and come home the minute they accomplish their goal, so they accept, and throw him a "bachelor party."
The women are sitting around talking, bored out of their minds, when one of the models suggests that Jess put in the slideshow of Cece's "best" moments that she'd put together. Jess doesn't want to, and Cece is mortified, but the models won't take no for an answer. Jess stands in front of the TV, but it's a widescreen, so Ankita sees Cece is all her party-loving glory, scantily-clad and totally drunk. Finally, Nadia listens to Jess and turns off the TV, but Ankita is livid. She asks Cece if the girl in the slides is the kind of wife she wants to be, and Cece is forced to defend herself. But she says the slides aren't who she is at all and instead, she shifts the blame to Jess, saying that the party was a total surprise and she didn't want any of it. This is all news to Jess, of course, and she stalks off.
Cece goes with her, and Jess tells her that she's afraid she's doing all this for the sake of someone she's not. She suggests that maybe Cece should show things down and get to know Shivrang a little bit better before getting married, but Cece's in too deep and afraid to look back. She snaps at Jess, telling her that she doesn't need relationship advice from someone who's in the middle of a "seventh-grade debacle with the boy across the hall."
The girls start arguing, with Jess admitting she was upset not to be asked to be maid of honour, but the argument is immediately diffused when Alfredo, a male stripper, dressed as a waiter with a captain's hat, walks in the door. Jess immediately ejects him, and he sullenly offers Cece wedding congratulations before he sulks out the door.
Nick and Winston are having a horrible time trying to get a picture of Shivrang's penis, and Nick even winds up taking a picture of his own to get Shivrang to follow suit, so finally, in the bathroom, they admit that they need the picture for Cece because she's freaking out. Concerned, Shivrang immediately heads to the loft to find Cece so they can work through it together, while Winston forwards the picture of Nick's penis to Jess' phone, so the girls will think they were successful in getting a picture of Shivrang.
Back at the loft, Jess receives the text, and the women crowd around to gawk. It's not half-bad, and the women get excited, so when Ankita walks in she immediately wants to see what the fuss is about. Demanding to see Jess' phone, she's not at all shocked by what she sees. She reveals to Cece that where she's from back in India, women cry for days over the fact they don't know their husbands intimately before marriage, and her fears are nothing new.
The girls are crowded around Ankita, as she shares stories of arranged marriages and sex from her home country, when Nick, Winston and Shivrang show up. Cece apologizes to Shivrang that the guys made him show his penis, but Nick admits that it was his, instead - much to Jess' surprise.
Cece is explaining herself to Shivrang at the party, but he doesn't want her to have any fears before they wed, and nearly drops his pants in front of everyone in the loft. The models egg him on, but Cece urges him to stop. She says she wants to see it, but not here, and not now. She surmises that the mystery is what makes their relationship special - she calls it a real leap of faith.
Shivrang agrees, but the first thing he does is tell her she's been pronouncing his name wrong since they met - it's shiv-rawng, not shiv-rayng. She can't believe she doesn't even know him well enough to pronounce his name right, but Shivrang insists that the most important thing is that he's going to do his best to make her the happiest woman on the face of the earth. They kiss, and Schmidt looks on sadly, but the others smile over their happiness - even Nick.
As Cece is helping clean up after the party, Schmidt approaches her to apologize if he was selfish during their relationship. "What do you mean 'if', and what do you mean 'relationship'?" Cece scoffs. He acknowledges that's fair, and tells her that he un-accepts the challenge, and no longer needs a plus one to her wedding.
He goes to bed, and Jess approaches to apologize for their fight - but Cece cuts her off to apologize instead. She tells Jess that even though it's not tradition in Indian weddings to have a maid of honor, she would really love it if Jess could be hers. Pretending to ruminate on it for only a second, she's merely psyching her out and screams excitedly, accepting the offer.
Schmidt and Winston are shocked when they walk into the bathroom at the loft, to find Jess nonchalantly removing hair from under Cece's armpits. Jess offers to remove any hair they might want to get rid of, but they both have plans - Winston is going out with Daisy for a last chance to sleep with her, and Schmidt is planning to take his revisited relationship with Elizabeth to the next level. They haven't had sex since the days when he was fat, so he's bringing his Arch Duke - a gargantuan sex toy that Cece remembers once throwing out the window.
Jess gets a text from Teddy - and Nick emerges, suddenly interested, from the bathroom stall to find out who Teddy is. He's totally jealous when he finds out that Teddy was the guy who took her flower. She launches into the traumatic story of how she lost her virginity - Prom Night, in 2000.
She tells the story of how she got into a fight while trying to have sex with her prom date, the only other member of their high school's gender equality league, only to almost share a kiss with a handsome guitar-playing school bad boy in the hallway. The guys think her story is boring, and the prologue ends without her actually losing her virginity on prom night.
Schmidt begs to hear the story of how Cece lost her virginity to cleanse his palate, and Cece reveals that it was on the same night. Schmidt loves it, thinking she lost her virginity to some pimply guy from Oregon, but is stunned to find out she actually lost her virginity to Mick Jagger. The Rolling Stone was in town while on tour, and while Cece chatted to the hotel bartender, she was propositioned across the bar by the rock star.
Schmidt calls the revelation a game changer, but he thinks that Mick was in the Beatles. It's not an embarrassing virginity story, and Jess still counts herself in first place for the worst. But Schmidt thinks he has the worst story - and he just might. If not for the fact that Winston unwittingly had sex with a prostitute at 15 as a present from Nick's now-deceased con man dad, Walt.
When Cece goes home that night, she's sitting on opposite sides of the bed from Shivrang. He suggests they could try it before getting married, but she's not ready - they're worlds apart, yet.
Jess is stressing out - her father, Bob, has just shown up for Cece's wedding the morning after she first slept with Nick, and she has to rush off to a job interview, leaving the two men alone for the day. She calls Cece to tell her about Nick, but Cece, too, is stressing - her crazy relatives her driving her nuts, and there are a million things to do before her wedding the next day. As maid of honor, Jess knows it's her duty to take on some of Cece's stresses, too, and takes charge of her relatives before advising her best friend to take a nap.
As a favour to Jess, Winston picks up Cece's wedding sari and drops it off at her apartment. He arrives, expecting to find a surprise party to celebrate his birthday, but finds the place quiet. Cece emerges from the bedroom after her nap, and Winston points out that she has something on her face. She had henna applied to her hands before she went to sleep, and fell asleep on them before it had dried, staining her cheek. She panics, and calls Jess, screaming. Jess wants to get back to Nick and her dad before Nick does something stupid like tell him about their new relationship, but she turns her car around and heads to Cece's with some olive oil to remove the tattoo. But she makes it much worse, giving her a smoky black beard. Jess calls the woman who applied it that morning, and discovers that there's no way it's coming off. Jess advises Cece to call Shivrang, but she doesn't want him to see her like that. Jess doesn't know what to do, and can't hold it in any longer, telling Cece that she slept with Nick. For once, Cece is too stressed out to care about Jess' issues.
Jess calls Shivrang on Cece's behalf, and he shows up immediately to comfort her. He promises her that he'll make a call and fix her 'henna beard' before the wedding.
It's Cece's wedding day, and Schmidt has brought Elizabeth. She knows him exceedingly well, and he's happy to be with her. The gang arrives at the hotel for the ceremony, and Schmidt heads off to find a washroom before the three-hour Indian wedding. But he stumbles on the room where Jess and Cece's family are tending to her before she walks down the aisle. No one's supposed to see her before the wedding, but her eyes lock with Schmidt's. She looks troubled, but she's hiding it relatively well. Schmidt is instantly convinced that Cece doesn't want to get married, but she's too afraid to back out with her entire family in town for the wedding.
But Winston, Nick, and especially Jess, refuse to believe him. She insists that Cece is in love with Shivrang, and begs Schmidt to move on. Instead, he vows to sabotage Cece's wedding, and is able to pull in Winston. But Nick points out that Jess asked them not to pull any pranks, so he refuses to get involved, no matter how much he loves pranks. He tries to get Schmidt to call off his prank, but it's too late. Winston startles the horse that Shivrang is riding in on, and it takes off, with Shivrang, down the street.
They manage to get Shivrang back in one piece, and the wedding gets underway. But as Cece is walking to the altar to start the ceremony, traditional music is interrupted by loud blasting of "Cotton-Eyed Joe." With Schmidt standing right next to her, she knows he has an accomplice, and demands to know who he's working with. She walks in on Nick, trying to get Winston to turn off the music, but Jess walks in and thinks he was involved because they used his CD. He asks how she thinks he could do a stupid prank at her best friend's wedding, and she says she thought she could count on him. Upset, he joins in with Schmidt and Winston for phase three of his sabotage plans - which ends up with Nick and Winston in the air ducts with a badger.
The long ceremony is almost complete, and Cece and Shivrang are completing seven circles around the altar to symbolize life's journey. "You don't have to walk so fast," Cece whispers to Shivrang. Nick and Jess fall through the ceiling, nearly crushing the bride, groom, and priest, before the circles can be completed.
Jess apologizes to the congregation for the interruption, informing them of the badger on the loose and encouraging the resumption of the ceremony. But Cece looks sincerely at Shivrang, turning to the assembled guests and announcing that she couldn't get married. She says that she's calling off the wedding becaus eit's not what she wants - she says she wants to be with someone else. She tells Shivrang that she's sorry, but he's not - he, too, has always loved another, even though his family disapproves. His school-age girlfriend, Elaine, emerges from the crowd of guests, and they declare their love for each other once and for all. Shivrang picks her up in his arms and they head for the door, with Elaine announcing their intentions to elope.
Cece is happy for Shivrang, but admits to Jess with a smile that she feels slightly rejected as the guests start to file out of the hall. She admits that she doesn't feel as good as Elaine, but she feels better than she's felt in a long time, so she knows she made the right choice calling off the wedding.
Meanwhile, Elizabeth and Schmidt are arguing over his role in Cece calling off the wedding - Elizabeth knows that his acts of sabotage are clear indicators that he still has feelings for her. But he tries to insist that he did what he did as a friend, and Cece approaches them. Elizabeth immediately asks her if she was talking about Schmidt at the altar, and Cece apologizes, admitting that she was. But Elizabeth tells her not to be sorry because it's not her problem - they both turn to Schmidt, who now has to decide who he's in love with. They both look lovingly at him, but instead of making a decision between them, he takes off running.
Nick and Jess are standing outside the loft door, still dressed in their clothes from Cece's aborted wedding. They're discussing the future of their relationship while their phones beep relentlessly. They've decided to go "all-in" together, but they have no idea exactly what that will mean for their existing friendship/roommate status. But Schmidt is having a "major life crisis," being forced to decide between Cece and Elizabeth, and is demanding Nick's help. Feeling overwhelmed and only wanting to spend time with each other, Nick and Jess take off to Mexico in the middle of the night, telling no one where they're going.
With Nick gone, Schmidt turns to Winston for help with his crisis. He interrupts Winston, doing a puzzle extremely poorly, to weigh the pros and cons of each of his girlfriends. On one hand, he notes, he and Cece have a passionate, if unhealthy, connection. "I'm not just a plug with her - I'm also a socket!" he admits. Disturbed, Winston shrugs his shoulders and tells Schmidt to choose Cece. But Schmidt notes that he was dating Elizabeth first, which helps him make his mind up. Winston is about to offer his sincere opinion on the matter, but Schmidt shuts him down - he dated Elizabeth first, so he's decided that he has to break up with Cece, and that's that.
Schmidt visits Cece's apartment to tell her his decision, but he's nervously stumbling over his words. Cece, though, has no time for his nerves, admitting that she's been awake for 24 straight hours since her wedding and has to worry about returning all the gifts, so she urges him to just tell her he doesn't want to be with her. But Schmidt balks at the finality of it all, and tells Cece he chose to be with her, instead.
They kiss, and Cece admits that she feels terrible for Elizabeth. "How did she take it?" Cece asks, and Schmidt doesn't know what to say. "She took it," he admits quietly.
Cut to Elizabeth's house, where Schmidt is rambling while he tries to break up with her. She, too, would rather he just say it's over if it's over, but Schmidt is too afraid to end things with her, either. He tells her that he picked her, and she immediately feels for "poor Cece."
Back at the loft four days later, Winston is still working on his puzzle when Schmidt heads to the shower and Cece shows up. She nonchalantly asks if Schmidt's home, and he stands, offering her a hug of condolence for the break-up he thinks happened. She looks confused, and weirded out when Winston hums while they hug, before Schmidt, wearing a towel, walks into the living room. Winston tells her that he's sorry about Elizabeth, but she doesn't know why, until Schmidt jumps in with a story about how Winston is in love with Elizabeth and slept with her. Slack-jawed, Winston plays along anyway, further admitting, to protect Schmidt's lie, that he's obsessed with Cece's underwear. Disgusted, an enraged Cece throws his box of puzzle pieces and storms out.
Winston can't believe that Schmidt kept the lie from him for four whole days, and Schmidt admits he's in love with both women and needed to buy himself some more time. Winston tells Schmidt that they aren't friends at all, until he fixes the mess he's made with Cece and Elizabeth.
Later, still working on his puzzle, Schmidt begs for forgiveness because he loves both women and needs help, but their conversation quickly devolves into a fight when Schmidt insults Winston's puzzle skills.
After a quick trip to Mexico to save Nick from 'resort jail,' Schmidt is clearly struggling while his phone rings off the hook, and he attempts to carry on a relationship with both women.
Cece is sitting with Schmidt in the loft kitchen after spending the night with him, and he tells her that he wants to start calling her "Shorty" in public, which she finds odd. He invites her to his upcoming office party and she offers to join him after a modelling shoot, when their conversation is interrupted by the beep of his phone. It's Elizabeth, which he hides from Cece by saying it's his oncologist doctor friend Dr. Waylon Cover.
On his way to work, Schmidt is riding in the elevator with Nick, who is trying to figure out how many school supplies he can buy for Jess with just $15. Schmidt notes that he's never seen Nick so happy before he launches into a "hypothetical" question about what would happen if he met a girl he liked as much as Jess. Knowing where the conversation is headed, Nick shuts him down and tells him to forget about Elizabeth because he picked Cece.
At work, Schmidt is showing Elizabeth the new office he recieved with his recent promotion, and his competitive co-worker, Bethany, overhears them. She knows about Schmidt's inability to choose between Elizabeth and Cece, and invites Elizabeth to the big office party out of spite.
To cover his tracks, Schmidt shows up at Cece's latest modelling shoot - she's wearing a red beehive wig, tight yellow dress, and working with real honey. He tells her that she can't come to the evening's office party because he was just told there are to be no "sig oths" - significant others. She shrugs it off and says that her modelling shoot is probably going to run late anyway, and as Schmidt makes his exit the production assistants bring in the live bees, much to Cece's chagrin.
Working with the bees has proven too much for Cece, who shows up at Schmidt's office party for moral support after quitting the modelling shoot. Stuffing Elizabeth quickly in the stairwell, he pretends he's been there alone and stuffs her in his new office while Beth taunts him. He returns to Elizabeth, using sex games as a cover as he tries to convince her to leave. But she notices Cece walking through the party with Beth, and demands an explanation - he tells her that Cece works in catering between modelling gigs, and Elizabeth buys it.
He grabs an apron and tells Cece to put it on, advising her to stay away from Beth because she has HPV. Cece sweetly thinks that Schmidt really wants her there with him despite the 'no significant others' rule, and he pastes on a grin to tell her how much he does, before handing her a plate of food and returning to Elizabeth.
He just about has Elizabeth out the door when Beth stops her, but he's already run over to Cece to tell her she doesn't have to pretend to be the caterer anymore. They turn the corner and both women spot one another, while Schmidt stands there at a loss for words. Cece gives him an out, asking if Elizabeth works there, and he says that she does as Elizabeth approaches.
She tells Cece how good the food is, and Cece continues to play up the lie, before she announces that she's leaving. Having averted the crisis, Schmidt is near tears while Beth looks on, dumbfounded that the confrontation didn't implode right in front of her as she had expected. With the party drawing to a close, Beth admits defeat, remarking that both women really do love him.
In the morning, Schmidt is making plans with Elizabeth for the night ("Dexter and pie," she promises) when Cece emerges from his bedroom looking for coffee. Nervously, he drops his phone and kicks it across while he and Cece joke flirtatiously about what little sleep they got the night before.
Nick and Jess emerge from the bedroom with their arms around each other, and Jess suggests they go on a double date because they're all so happy together. Cece's up for it, while Schmidt stumbles. Nick senses he's made other plans and doesn't think it's a big deal, but Schmidt swears he's not busy. Winston wakes up and invites himself on their date, feeling lonely since his break-up with Daisy and spending far too much time with his cat, Furguson. Winston promises to get a day-of reservation at Pica, one of the hottest restaurants in town, and Jess excitedly declares the evening a "double date plus one."
Cece knocks on Jess' bedroom door later that morning, and finds her in bed with Nick, again. She wants to talk to her best friend, and Jess happily invites her in. Nick is worried that his penis will be exposed if Cece comes in, and she wants to talk about Schmidt, which only makes Nick more uncomfortable. "I know this sounds totally paranoid, but I think he's on drugs," Cece says, which makes Nick laugh out loud even though he vowed not to involve himself in the conversation. However, Jess concurs, reminding Cece how hard Schmidt took it when Lance Armstrong got busted - "He just looked at that yellow bracelet and cried," she says wistfully.
But Cece thinks he's been giving off strange energy lately, and points out that he's stopped blinking. "Is that whippets?" she wonders fearfully. Jess promises to give Nick a bedroom treat if he talks to Schmidt, and they proceed to forget they're not alone in the room, which disturbs Cece. "You guys are being really, really gross right now," she reminds them, before revealing that she keeps thinking he's on drugs because he's been even more passionate with her lately - "It's so not about him anymore," she says with a grin, which is all Nick wants to hear anymore. Apologetically, he gets out of bed and warns Cece that she's about to see him naked.
Despite feeling weird about it, Nick knocks on Schmidt's door to talk to him about Cece's concerns. He asks if he's on drugs, and Schmidt drags him into his bedroom. He tells Nick the truth, but makes him promise not to get mad. However, Nick can't hide the fact that he's livid. "You have to choose. You get one wife, this is the way the world works!" he shouts angrily, unable to fathom how Schmidt could get himself into this. He's even more upset when Schmidt begs him to keep the secret from Jess, knowing Jess would tell Cece, which makes Nick feel sick to his stomach. He's a terrible liar anyway, but he really doesn't want to lie to Jess. When Nick asks him how he sees it ending, Schmidt admits that he sees it ending very, very badly.
Expectedly, Nick is unable to keep the secret from Jess, and she finds him in the kitchen to tear him a new one. She tells Schmidt that he has to tell Cece the truth, or she will, but he's so afraid of hurting her. Finally, he acknowledges that Jess is right, and promises that he'll tell her.
Then, Cece walks into the apartment, pumped for double date night, but she can tell right away that something's off. Jess urges him to tell her, and he looks like he's about to, but he races for the door and drags Cece with him. He announces that they're taking two cars because it's faster, and tosses his and Cece's phones into the living room so Jess can't reach her. Dumbfounded, Jess and Nick race to their car to go after them.
Schmidt is speeding away from Nick and Jess, hoping to lose them and take Cece somewhere else, because he says he can't be around Nick right now. Cece urges him to slow down, and she asks what's going on, considering everyone was acting so weird back at the loft. Schmidt sighs, revealing that Jess doesn't know Nick cheated on her, which stuns her. "Nick is my best friend and all, but I can't even be in the same room with that scumbag right now!" he lies, playing it up. She throws his hands in the air and tells Cece to take the wheel, but he quickly takes over again when she veers everywhere from the passenger seat. Cece vows to junk punch Nick for cheating on Jess, and orders Schmidt to head back towards the restaurant. Schmidt wonders if she might be acting rash, but Cece is certain. "Cheating is selfish, and it is cowardly, and there is no excuse for it. The only thing that you can do is punch it in the junk," she says. Schmidt tries to imply that Nick might have a reasonable explanation, but Cece isn't having it, and they turn back towards the restaurant.
They pull up to Pica, and Cece storms inside to find Nick, while Schmidt stays inside his car and won't valet it. When she walks in, Winston is relieved that his friends have finally arrived, as he's been hogging the community table for hours, unable to score an official reservation. However, she is only interested in confronting Nick, and can't believe they beat him there.
Nick and Jess finally pull up to the restaurant, bickering about why he didn't get involved back at the loft. They're caught between their best friends, but Jess thinks what Schmidt did is unforgivable. "When someone I love gets hurt, I get involved," she snaps. Nick spots Schmidt inside his car, and gets in to talk to him. He tells him that he has do the right thing and face Cece, because Jess can't be the one to tell her.
Jess races inside, and both she and Cece have something to tell the other. Nick follows quickly behind, and Cece promptly punches him in the junk, as promised. While Nick writhes in agony, Schmidt follows behind and slowly admits that he lied - that he's been cheating on her with Elizabeth. Cece starts to cry, and Schmidt apologizes profusely, vowing that he didn't want to hurt her. "You have no idea what you eman to me," he says, "And I got caught up in this thing." He admits that he's still trying to deal with not being "Fat Schmidt," and doesn't know how to deal with the attention he now gets from women. "That's the best you can do?" Cece asks him, sobbing. "I don't know you," she says, before she walks out of the restaurant.
Back at the loft later that night, Nick and Jess are getting ready for bed in the bathroom, and she looks at her phone. She's upset that Cece still hasn't phoned her, and she asks Nick to test her phone again. Unfortunately, he can't, he says, because his phones out of minutes. Jess admits that she just really wants to be there for Cece, and Nick says that she will be. "She'll call, because she needs you," he insists, noting the "butt-munch" of a situation they're in.
They're interrupted by yelling in the living room, and rush out to find Elizabeth smashing a custard pie in Schmidt's face. She storms out the door, having dumped him, as Schmidt explains to Nick and Jess that Cece had Elizabeth's number, and told her he'd cheated. In retaliation for what he calls a "tough time in Schmidts-burg," he promises to do everything in his power to destroy Nick and Jess's relationship for their roles in ending his, and causing unhappiness to both his women.
Schmidt is angrily listening to Nick and Jess through the walls, discussing the demise of his own happiness with Winston. For his part, Winston can't believe he was dumped by two women in the same day, and Schmidt acknowledges that both women he lost were perfect. He's still determined to break up Nick and Jess, who gleefully announce that they're taking over the communal shower to have sex.
He gets into Nick's head and makes him start overthinking his relationship, which causes him to struggle with impotence with Jess for an entire night. When Jess seeks advice from Schmidt, he tells her to try an obscene sex play called The Captain, which subsequently traumatizes the new couple. They confront Schmidt, and he reminds Jess that Nick can't discuss his feelings - what he believes to be their relationship's biggest flaw. However, Nick suddenly explodes with feelings, exciting Jess but infuriating Schmidt. He tries to prevent them from having sex by swallowing all of Jess' birth control pills, which causes Winston to call a loft meeting.
Winston tells Nick and Jess to cool it with their annoying couple behavior, and tells Schmidt to grow up and deal with his break-ups, before remarking that, despite his fixation with getting Furguson laid before he's neutered, he's the only normal person in the loft. He storms off, and Jess turns to Schmidt. "You did a bad thing. Deal with it," she says, as she and Nick leave him alone in the living room.
He writes an apologetic letter and delivers it to Cece's apartment, waiting for her in the stairwell in hopes of making amends. But she arrives back home on the arm of a ruggedly handsome man, and Schmidt watches her take out her gum and use the letter to dispose of it. "This gum's crap," she says with a grin, tossing the crumpled paper in the garbage.
Schmidt walks into the kitchen and heads straight for the coffee machine, which causes Winston to point out how tired and puffy he looks. Schmidt admits that he feels so guilty over Cece and Elizabeth that he can hardly sleep. He asks his roommates if they think he's a good person, and they all admit they think he's a terrible person. "You cheated on my best friend," Jess reminds him.
Schmidt's attempts to prove to himself that he's a good person end in him getting into a fight with some rabbis, leaving Winston to assure him he's a good man, who just did a bad thing that left him alone. "Try to be better," Winston advises him.
Schmidt is still acting bizarre, so Jess, Nick, and Winston hold a meeting in the empty apartment 4C, which has been vacant for a while. They jokingly suggest that it can't keep tenants because it's haunted by the ghost of Mrs. Beverly, who died in the bathroom a few Thanksgivings ago. Jess is hosting a Halloween party at the loft, and wants to invite Cece, so they try to come up with ways to keep him from finding out about the party.
But she tries to encourage him not to want to come instead, but he sees through it and invites himself, much to she and Winston's dismay. They try to convince Nick to pretend to send an email from Michael Keaton - "The Batman," Schmidt's childhood hero, to pull him out of his strange depression if he's going to be at the party, but he doesn't want to "catfish" his best friend anymore. So, having heard the story, Jess does it instead, encouraging Schmidt not to go to the party to give Cece her space, before she goes to visit Cece.
She walks into a completely trashed apartment, and spots her best friend nearly passed out hungover on the couch. With concern in her eyes, she asks if Cece plans to come to the party because she's yet to RSVP, but Cece says she can't make it because she's been going out drinking "a lot" lately, and she's feeling wiped out. Jess begs her to come to the party, but Cece admits that she doesn't want to see Schmidt. "I don't think I'm ready for that," she says. But offering a pinky swear, Jess promises her that Schmidt won't be there.
Schmidt has read "Keaton's" email, and has decided to give Cece her space and not attend the party. But the plan backfires and Schmidt gets even sadder, so Nick and Winston get involved, and Schmidt soon discovers they're pretending to be Michael Keaton. In retaliation, he crashes the party dressed as a "public serpent." Desperate to fix things, Nick and Jess send emails as Keaton from apartment 4C, and Jess gets drunk. She convinces a kid to trade costumes and dresses up as Batman, conspiring with Nick to bring Schmidt outside to meet the "real" Keaton. Schmidt confronts them, and Nick admits that the whole Keaton thing has always been a lie carried on by Nick, but before that, Schmidt's mother.
Schmidt is floored by the revelation that his mother pretended to be the actor he thought he discussed his erections with, and at that moment Cece, dressed as a sexy pirate wench, shows up. Schmidt's gaze freezes on her nervously, and he makes an excuse that he has to leave, stepping backwards and accidentally knocking over some trick-or-treaters, who then turn on him and start beating him with their sacks of candy and costume accessories. Nick, Jess, and Winston run to help him, but Cece looks on, frowning.
Jess follows Cece into the loft bathroom, apologizing that Schmidt was there despite her promise. But Cece's okay, and she admits that seeing Schmidt again, and not running away from it, actually managed to give her some closure about the end of their relationship. Smiling, Jess suggests they fire up the "Batman-mobile" and enjoy their night, and Cece tries in van to teach her to say "Batmobile," but Jess doesn't get it.
The next morning, feeling like he needs his space though he's forgiven his friends for "catfishing" him, Schmidt moves into apartment 4C, alone.
Coach returns to the loft after breaking up with his former live-in girlfriend, Malia, and he convinces the guys to head out to a strip club for the evening. Jess admits that feels uncomfortable about the idea, and Nick accidentally implies they're not officially boyfriend and girlfriend - because they haven't had the conversation. Livid, Jess tells Nick to have fun at the strip club and calls Cece for a girl's night out.
They're drinking at Clyde's and complaining about men, and Cece encourages Jess to make Nick jealous. She tells Cece about Artie, a very hot guy who owns and works at a coffee shop she likes to go to and gave her his number not long ago, and Cece urges her to call him. But Jess thinks calling him is "too real," and instead says she just likes looking at his number in her phone.
Later, Jess is contemplating sending Nick a bitchy text, when Cece surprises her. She's called and invited out Artie, who smiles from behind her. When they sit at the bar, Jess makes sure that Cece is seated between them, but when she finishes her drink Artie offers to buy her another one, and Jess admits she has a boyfriend. Artie excuses himself because she's involved, but Cece tries to convince him that Jess is "free as a bird." However, he shakes Jess' hand with a charming smile and leaves them at the bar, and Cece immediately remarks that she's made a big mistake letting him go. "Do you think Nick is at that strip club right now shaking hands? No, because Nick is a man," Cece scoffs, warning her that men walk all over you the moment you let your guard down. "Tonight is the night to beat them at their own game," she insists,m and Jess invites Artie back to the bar challenging that he can't lift her.
Towards the end of the night, Jess drunkenly calls Nick, but he's drunk, too, and they wind up arguing. Artie offers to give the girls a ride home, and Cece says she doesn't think it's a great idea and they should grab a cab. "This was your idea," Jess drunkenly reminds her, accepting Artie's offer, much to Cece's chagrin.
They arrive back at the loft as Artie finds the bathroom, and in the living room Cece asks if Jess really likes Artie, but she admits she's just trying to get back at Nick for hurting her. Cece apologizes for putting thoughts of revenge into Jess' head because it's the way she's personally feeling about men lately, and she helps remind her what a good thing Jess has with Nick. She tells her to find Artie and ask him to leave.
Jess finds him naked on the bed, mortified, and Cece joins her at the bedroom door. "Men are such dicks," she sighs, clearly attracted to naked Artie. Artie seductively tells them that the Brazilians - where he sources the beans for his shop and makes multiple trips a year - have the same word for making love to one woman that they have for making love to two, before he tells the women to take of their shirts. But Nick gets home and the girls freak out. Cece tells Jess to get Artie dressed while she stalls Nick, admitting she'really good at that sort of thing. But Nick barrels past her as she tries to start a conversation about the kind of wood used on a side table in the living room. "Jess, I failed!" she calls out, as Nick walks in on Jess with naked Artie.
Jess begs for forgiveness and assures him that the scenario is not what it looks like, and he believes her, but he punches out Artie and calls Jess his girlfriend. They leave Artie naked and passed out in the elevator with his clothes and make up.
Coach, who's moved into Schmidt's old bedroom, has convinced Nick to let him train him after catching him eating Chinese take-out for breakfast from Hop Foo's, his favourite restaurant. They're doing hardcore exercise in the living room after a long day, with Nick hating every second of it, when Cece rushes in with bags worth of Hop Foo's. "What's the emergency? Why does Jess need all this Chinese food?" she wonders, but Nick admits that he tricked her into getting him food as he takes the bags and heads into his bedroom to get his wallet. Cece's not impressed, and while he's gone, Coach stumbles over his words as he tries to reconnect with Cece, whom he met just a few times before he first moved out. He weirds her out when he starts lifting weights in front of her and stares at her breasts, and she calls angrily for Nick, who returns with money to pay her back - including four bucks for her "tip." Exasperated, she storms out of the apartment.
Nick and Jess are planning to have date night in, and they agree to watch Winston's cat, Furguson. Schmidt barges in with a fresh batch of cobbler, which he's made in an attempt to get his mind off the fact that Coach has invited Cece on a date, and she's said yes. Nick asks whether Coach ran it by him first, and Schmidt admits that he came over and followed the Bro Code, and he agreed to the date before he really thought about how uncomfortable it made him.
Jess, however, thinks it's great he's giving Cece the chance to move on, especially with "super hot" Coach. She reminds Schmidt that he blew it with Cece, so says he has to be fine with this. But Schmidt can't make himself be okay with it, no matter what.
- She is sitting on the couch at one of Jess' parties when they are preteens, agonizingly listening to her perform a sunny acoustic version of "One of Us" by Joan Osborne. ("Pilot")
- In middle school, Jess and Cece spend Cece's birthday gossiping about boys and talking about Clueless. ("Models")
- In middle school, Cece excitedly tells Jess that one day she wants "the dirtiest bachelorette party of all time" - including strippers, a mechanical bull, balloons shaped like "ding-dongs," and she wants to wear the kind of underwear "that goes between your cheeks." ("Bachelorette Party")
- When Cece is discovered near her school, Jess is with her. They're no more than 14 years old. But the modeling scout is only interested in Cece. ("Models")
- In high school and already a model, Cece, in a blonde wig and gold dress, has to tell Jess what second base is. This causes Jess to say she's not a virgin anymore. ("Secrets")
- After prom, Cece is sitting at the hotel bar, chatting to the bartender about the fact that she's a virgin, when she's propositioned by Mick Jagger. They order room service and have sex all night in his room. ("Virgins")
- At 22, Jess has just moved to L.A. and is sleeping on Cece's couch. They're at the bar, and discussing the fact that Jess is still a virgin. Cece points out three guys she could easily have sex with if she wanted to - the guys are nerdy college-era Nick, Schmidt, and Winston - but Jess is completely uninterested as they goof off at the table. The cute guy she could have slept with on prom night shows up at the bar, and he and Jess talk all night before they leave together. Meanwhile, Cece is finding it easy to ignore Schmidt, who is obese and walks up to her at the bar. Instead of finding something to say to her, he ends up nervously asking the bartender if they sell cookies. ("Virgins")
Jess Jess and Cece are best friends. They met when they were young and have been through everything together. They have a good, strong friendship, despite their very different personalities and interests, which causes some tensions between them. Cece is the one to usually give Jess advice, but both are always they're always there for each other when they need it. Jess followed Cece to Los Angeles after she graduated from university, and they have been roommates in the past.
See: Schmidt and Cece
Schmidt and Cece have dated on-and-off since Valentine's Day 2012, after becoming friends when Jess moved into the loft. At first, she was ashamed to be seen with him and they kept their relationship a secret, but soon they dated openly, and Cece even had a pregnancy scare. Schmidt nearly proposed to her because of it, but instead he grew jealous of her job and the male models she's always surrounded by. During an unexpected trip to the desert with the gang, he 'White Fang's' her and they break up, despite the fact that they're both falling in love with each other. She's hurt by this, but neither one of them is able to completely move on. She dates a guy named Robby, who's nothing like Schmidt for a reason, but the relationship doesn't last and she and Schmidt sleep together again months later. Soon after, Cece re-evaluates her priorities when she discovers that she's running out of time to start a family. In search of a committed relationship, Schmidt blows his one last chance, and she allows her mother to arrange a marriage for her in the Indian tradition. She breaks Schmidt's heart in the process, but she later tells him that she'll always love him. He realizes that he's in love with her, and attempts to sabotage her wedding to Shivrang. During the ceremony, Cece realizes that she wants to be with Schmidt, and tells him as much in front of his wedding date, Elizabeth - his first love and college girlfriend. Cornered by the women, who ask him to choose the girl he wants to be with, he runs for the doorway. He's unable to choose between the two women, and attempts to date both without the other finding out. This backfires, naturally, and he's dumped by both women in one night. While Elizabeth disappears from the picture, Cece remains a constant presence in his life, though their relationship is extremely frosty, because of their shared group of close friends.
Nick and Cece are friends. Cece likes Nick immediately for Jess, and tries to get them together just weeks after Jess moves into the loft. She always appears supportive of moments that Nick and Jess have together, and helped pay for medical tests that proved he didn't have cancer. They are both bluntly honest people with a similar cynical worldview, and appear to respect that quality in one another; as such they're able to communicate solidly when the others are getting emotional around them. They get along and often agree when giving advice. Nick is especially respectful and kind to Cece because she's Jess' best friend.
Cece agreed to go on a date with Coach with Jess' full support, which started extremely awkwardly because both were on the rebound and Coach was especially nervous. But by the end of the date they were enjoying each other's company and made out for hours by the loft's street entrance. But after the date, Cece wouldn't return Coach's texts or talk to him much, despite the fact that they have the same group of close friends and their date made things between them awkward.
Cece and Winston are friends, but they do not spend a lot of time together. Before she dated Schmidt, he tried to compete with him somewhat for her affections. Winston is the first to find out about Cece and Schmidt, when he finds them in the back of Schmidt's car at the US-Mexico border. Nearly a year later, he desperately barges in on Cece, because she lives nearby, looking for a condom during her second date with Shivrang. She yells at him, and tells him they aren't close enough for him to barge in on her for things like that. They bonded over a shared hatred of camping in "Thanksgiving III."
Cece's ex-fiance. Wealthy, British-raised Shivrang and Cece were set up in an arranged marriage by their Indian families. They had never met before they were engaged, and though they developed a friendship on their way to the altar, they never fell in love. They had nearly made it through their three-hour wedding ceremony when she finally put an end to the relationship, realizing that she wanted to be with Schmidt. Shivrang was happy to call everything off, and ran away from the ceremony with his true love, Elaine.
Cece and Sadie are good friends. Their friendship link is probably Jess as their lives are very different, but the three women have crochet nights together. Sadie, the girls' OB-GYN, tells Cece that her egg count is low and her window to have a family is closing, which causes Cece to rush into planning an arranged marriage with Shivrang. Sadie, who is pregnant herself at this time, attends Cece's bachelorette party and is very attracted to Cece's model roommates.
Cece's roommates and friends, including Nadia. They live and work together in an L.A. apartment, and like Cece enjoy going to nightclubs and partying. Cece's friendships with the models is a point of contention in her relationship with Jess, who doesn't get along with the models very well. At least one of the girls is actually a lawyer, which she admits at Cece's bachelorette party when Jess addresses her as one of the models.
- She is of Indian heritage; both her parents were born in India but emigrated, and she was born in America. Her father died when she was 12.
- She grew up with Jess in Portland, but was the first of the two to move to Los Angeles.
- She didn't go to college; she started modeling while still in high school.
- She has a reputation for being a bit of a maneater, on account of her beauty and bluntness.
- Lost her virginity to Mick Jagger, whom she met at a bar after senior prom. ("Virgins")
- She is close with her L.A.-based grandmother, whom she calls Dadi (the Hindu name for a paternal grandmother), and her large Indian family.
- Schmidt and Cece first started dating on February 15, 2012 at 1:03 a.m. ("Secrets")
- Cece's seen boyfriends in the show, besides Schmidt, are Gavin ("DJ Dia-beat-it"), Kyle, Robby, and Shivrang. However, while she's dating Kyle, she later admits to spending New Year's in St. Bart's with a man who "might be an arms dealer." ("Secrets")
- Although Hannah Simone is credited, Cece does not appear, nor is she mentioned, in Season 1: episodes 3 ("Wedding"), 7 ("Bells"), and 11 ("The Story of the 50"); or Season 2: episodes 4 ("Neighbors") and 20 ("Chicago"). She is mentioned, but does not appear, in Season 3: episode 5 ("The Box").
- Cece is still credited on Fox's official New Girl site as having the last name Meyer. She was never referred to with this surname on screen, and by season two, when her Indian heritage became a pivotal part of her storyline, she said her last name was Parekh in "Table 34."
- In flashbacks, "Young Cece" is portrayed by two different credited, and another uncredited actress, over the course of New Girl's first two seasons: an uncredited actress is presumably meant to represent her in the "Pilot" episode, while Ariela Barer plays her in "Models," and Jaidan Jiron portrays her in "Bachelorette Party." All three actresses work opposite "Preteen Jess," played by Lauren Dair Owens.
- (To Nick, Schmidt, and Coach): "Jess is by far the best person I know, so if you let anything bad happen to her, I'm going to come over to your house and crazy-murder you."
- (To Schmidt): "If you tell anyone we held hands, I have two people in my phone who could kill you. Literally."
- (To Jess): "Remember when Christmas used to be fun, and all I had to worry about was my drunk uncle asking me out?"
- (To Schmidt): "I wish there was a word for complete satisfaction and complete self-loathing."
- (To Jess): "Babies wreck you."
- (To Shivrang): "I used to just think that if I was being proposed to, I would notice it was happening."
- (To Winston): "One of the perks of being a model: You get to meet a lot of sketchy people. The guy who got me this [fish] also said he could get me a box of dolphin steaks or a mostly-white baby."